Well I qualified at the end of last year to compete in this tournament, and I RSVP'd thinking that if I want to go, I would and if I didn't, I wouldn't. However the tournament is today, and I really want to be there, but I just haven't been trainning the way that i should if I wanted to win this or even be just a little bit competitive. Plus I am slightly injured from my fall earlier his week and I just wouldn't be bringing my A game. Its funny how I do this every year though. Something always happens or comes up right before I have a chance to really show what I am made of. I think that its a mixture of me being too scared to really put myself out there, and just having really bad luck. I just feel like when you win a tournament like this, you are under a microscope, they want to know things about your life that you just don't want to talk about. Well atleast things that I don't want to talk about. If I were straight I would totally be a pro surfer, but as a closeted gay guy, I just don't have the courage to put myself out there with a huge "I like guys" bumper sticker on my forehead. I should have chosen a sport with more clothing in it, so guys wouldn't feel so uncomfortable around me because they think that I was checking them out, like golf!! Why couldn't I have been a really good golf player!?
2 comments:
I am on the water polo team. I know exactly what you mean about being in a sport where you don't where a lot of clothing and being gay! ITs like, if you come out to your fellow team mates things are going to change! I totally am coming from a very similar place, I wish that I could have been a golf player also! ;-)
I feel bad for people that have to spend their lives in the closet, but if you choose to be a professional athlete it seems like, atleast for a little while, you have to be in the closet. I can completely understand your hesitency to want to fully embrace a sport because of the fact that that you will have to give a part of yourself that you would rather keep private. Good luck with whatever youd decide man!
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