Thursday, June 08, 2006

HOME!!


Before I talk about anything else I would just like to thank everybody for your emails and your comments. Even the negative emails and comments helped me to get a grip on the bigger picture. Until I wrote that post, I had no idea how many gay athletes were out there. I guess that I knew that they existed, but so do gnarwals and giant squid. However, until I see them with my own 2 eyes, they are as real to me as a unicorns are! It is a really sad existence to think that you are all alone in this sea of machismo, because to a certain extent, I even buy into this gay stereotyping. Like I don't think that there could ever be a gay Crocodile Dundee. To me that man is the epitome of what a straight man is, and that's wrong! Why can't Crocodile Dundee be gay? Why can't a gay man be good at sports!?

For a very long time I felt like the only gay Eskimo in that Tenacious D song. However I got tons of responses from my post, and these responses have helped me a lot in ways that I was not expecting. I was SHOCKED when I realized that so many people were reading my blog! Then I was speechless at the amount of emails that I received from gay athletes and their struggles. They were quite overwhelming! I am very honored that you guys felt like you could trust me with your secrets. I know how it feels to lead a double life and hate yourself for it. I also know that after I finished reading the post that "Asher" suggested, I didn't want to turn into the cautionary tale of a gay surfer. I haven't been able to find the key to my happiness, because I know that I have struggles ahead of me no matter what I choose. But it is comforting to know that I am not alone.

My flight was quite pleasant and Eddie and I got into the LAX just in time for the Donovan Frankenreiter concert! You might not know the name, but everybody knows his song. He sings the Verizon wireless song commercial, "free". It's a duet that he sings with Jack Johnson, the coolest man on the planet! The concert was AMAZING! ANd I absolutely love his new album! It has a very different sound from his first album. After the concert we grabbed some food with Tyler, and Eddie's best friend Tara. We didn't end up getting home until around 2:30 in the morning! I was so tired that I barely woke up like 2 hours ago! I called my mother to let her know that I was home, and she wants to talk about this communication problem that we have been having as of late. I am still mulling over what I am going to tell her...

This is a picture that I took about a year ago. But today while I was in bed I remixed it on my laptop. Redbull was a HUGE factor in my ability to stay up days at a time in the last week. So this was my ode to European Redbull, which is actually twice as strong as it's American counterpart! I am definitely done with redbull for the rest of my life!

13 comments:

Anonymous said...

HAHA! That is a funny picture! O man I can't tell you how many all nighters were made possible thanks to the magic in a can known as REDBULL! Oh man, good times. Is european redbull really stronger than american redbull?? I guess that it makes sense, but it makes me upset to think that I got shafted!

On a serious note, I wanted to thank you. You responded to my email, and made me feel a lot better about myself. You are a really good person.

Anonymous said...

I felt your pain in your last blog. I liked how you were able to put into words the same insecurities and questions that I was asking myself and feeling. Not only in this blog, but in some earlier ones that I found on your blog. You are a very open person and that's a sppecial thing. I look forward to reading your thoughts on life and everything else. And I really like this redbull pic! Its hilarious! I am definitely not a fan of the stuff, but I know the effect that it has on people all to well!

Anonymous said...

Sooo Kalani Rob really isn't gay?? That's kind of depressing. If I would have known that I would send you into this huge tailspin by telling you about this pro athlete gay post thing, I might have decided against it, but I think that it ended up being a pretty positive experience for you. So ummm your welcome! haha. I also dig your new picture. Its really funny because its true.

Anonymous said...

I love your redbull picture! THat is soooo funny! That poor guy looks really haggard what happened to him? O actually D/L'd some Donovan while I read through your blog and I have to say that I really enjoyed his music. And I totally recognized taht "free" song from the old verizon commercials! I love that song. I could see why you wanted to make it home in time to see him in concert, it sounded like a lot of fun. I am not an athlete, but I am down with the gay struggle, and while its hard enough having to deal with all of the typical things that gays have to deal with. I can see how adding another layer ontop of that would complicate and already difficult issue.
I completely empathize with your cause, and your problems. I grew up in a beach city in LA and I know the surf culture well. Being a gay surfer must be a very scary and upsetting thing to be! You must be a very brave guy, and I hope that you stay safe, beause surfers scare the shit out of me!

Anonymous said...

I agree with Chris. I grew up in LA in the Redondo Beach/Palos Verdes area (also where I suspect you are from) and the surfers there are a scary group of people. You hear stories of what they do to surfers that try and surf their turf or how they beat people up when you look at them weird. Its scary! I know that not all surfers are like that, but you have to be tough to deal with it at all! That really just doesn't seem like a gay friendly environment. But I guess that your a tough guy with your martial arts background and what not. So these guys probably don't phase you at all.

Marc said...

I LOVE DONOVAN FRANKENREITER!! That guy is the most awesome man on the planet! I had no idea that he has a new album!! What is it called!? I live in LA also so that means that I missed him in concert! This is the single most depressing thing ever! It makes me really sad.

I have been surfing for years, and while I am no where near as good as you probably are, I think that surfing is like anything else. There are your assholes and your normal mild mannered people. However surfing is an ultra macho sport. A lot more than people that aren't part of the culture will ever know. you didn't really touch on what you think that your game plan will be for surfing. I am curious to hear what your plans are.

Anonymous said...

I love the picture! You are way to funny sometimes! This is classic man. I saw this and I could not stop laughing. It reminded me of all of those jager-bombs that I used to drink at parties last semester! WOW! Its like you took a picture of me.

I love Donovan I saw him in concert last year, and I had no idea that he had a new album out. I went to his website and sure enough, there it was! I like his new sound. It is different from his old sound big time.

I am a straight surfer, but I am okay with gay people. However before I read your blog, the thought of a gay surfer never crossed my mind. It really didn't seem like something that a gay person would enjoy. I guess that I need to reevaluate what I consider a gay person to be. Even though I am okay with you being gay and a surfer, I know that most of the people that I surf with wouldn't. I am sure that you know exactly what I mean. I wish you luck with whatever you choose to do, and I would like you to know that I would go out and watch you compete to support your cause. I love your blog and you are and awesome artist!

Anonymous said...

ooooo! The talk with your mom! That sounds like it is going to be twenty kinds of fun. What are you going to tell her? Is this going to be the "coming out" talk? Because if it is I wish you luck. I love your picture. It is so funny! I love redbull! I am guilty of using it as my #1 party drug! hahaha! Its just way to easy.

Jet said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

DUDE! I am soo upset that you are seeing somebody right now because I think that you are my soul mate! I love Donovan! I was at that concert at the El Ray last night. I am a surfer, and I am a total photoshop professional! Oh yeah and I looked through your profile and I have seen and read all of your movies and books listed! WEEEEERD! Yeah I am almost positive that I am sounding a little bit creepy right about now, but pressing that delete button is just to muh work at this point! I have gone passed the point of no return and I am going to post this now!

Anonymous said...

OH MY GAWD!! I love that Tenacious D song! It's so funny in a totally sad and tragic way! ITs like watching a person in a wheelchair trying to get up a curb. I mean you really want to point and laugh, but at the same time it is completely heart breaking!

I also love your Redbull picture. It is soooo freakin funny! You are really on tonight dude! I like that little tag line that you put on your little redbull mock add! I feel like jager-bombs in a big way now.

Anonymous said...

I can't believe that you were at the Donovan concert! When I was there, I saw this really cute asian guy with a bamboo cane and I thought about you. I now realize that **that guy probably was you hahaha! Crazy new album isn't it!? I am loving this new sound of his. My friends like old Donovan, but this new stuff has a great energy to it. I love it! You can dance to it, or kick back to it. Just a fun sound!

Jet said...

Josh, I wasn't trying to spam anybody. I inadvertantly left it on the wrong one, so I put it on this one.

As to why I did it, Eric left a very complimentary note for me on one of my articles about gay athletes and their struggles, on my own string, and I was TRYING to thank him as sincerely as I could by replying on his string.

Bloggers was having trouble and I had to delete and re-post it, so I was giving him the new URL for it.

You just exposed yourself, and I see someone just slightly too cynical.


Jet