Thursday, July 06, 2006

I am like a duck...


I recieved about 20 e-mails yesterday, and they all said the same thing. I figured that if this many people felt soo strongly about my little post, I should respond to it with another post (instead of an e-mail to each person because there are probably a lot of other people that felt the same way).


Well... I guess that I would just like to tell you guys that I am really not as crazy as I sound on this blog in everyday life! I am a very different person in **person! For anybody that knows me, they know a guy with confidence. They look at me and they know that I must have a 12 inch dong because I walk around like I am the master of the universe, and this is important to me. I need for people to think that I have everything going for me and that nothing ever goes wrong in my life. For the most part, I succeed at this to the point that I am actually quite hated by many people because I am the guy that everybody else wants to be.

You guys know the highlights. I am funny, popular, and successful in sports, academics, and relationships (both intimate and platonic). In fact one of the most common things that I get in life during a drunken stupor, is people telling me how they love me because I rock, but they hate me because its not fair that one person be so freakin perfect! But its all just a facade. Nobody really wants to see this messed up and neurotic guy that I really am.

This is the reason why I started blogging. I needed an outlet for all of my insane thoughts because there was no way that I would actually share these feelings with somebody that I would interact with daily. I have a theory that being this way has a lot to do with me being Asian American, because we all do it to some degree. Its like when everybody sees the smart Asian kid in class getting the A on all of his math test. They all just assume that he's the smartest guy in class because he is Asian, and the fact that he studied for the last 10 hours and didn't sleep, is never even factored into the equation. And that's okay. We all want to be recognized for our accomplishments because that's what is glamorous! How we got to where we are isn't important, just as long as we can stand up and pretend like it was cake, life is great.

When I started this blog, I never thought that I would have more than 5 readers a week. I wanted this to be a place where I could vent all of my crazy and fucked up thoughts without worrying that I was disappointing somebody, or having someone think less of me. Well I was wrong about only getting 5 readers a week. Even if I were to multiply that 5 by 100 and change that *week* to *day*, I would still be off... At first that really freaked me out. Here I am with a new audience that I am meant to impress with my life! What's a poor boy to do!?

Slowly, I came to terms with the fact that I wasn't living my life for anybody but myself. I am not ashamed that I have a million irrational thoughts running through my head. I am not trying to impress anybody, or make anyone jealous. I am just trying to live my life and maybe figure out a thing or two on the way. I am grateful to all of you guys for going along with me on my journey, and never judging me to harshly (for the most part).

I am like a duck. On the surface I am calm, but below the surface, I am kicking like crazy trying to stay afloat! Thanks for taking the time to look below the surface.

24 comments:

Rob said...

Wow! Once again you amaze me. I don't know what to say... That truly was amazing though. You have a gift with words, because I was moved. Good job

Carl said...

that was fucking hot! I am utterly blown away by your ability to captivate me with your words. I honestly don't think that the life of a popular kid that everybody loves will ever be as bad as the life of that sad gay kid that everybody beats up, but it would seem like everybody has problems. Even the perfect! J/k.

There are things that people can not fake or hide. These qualities are intangible, but completely visible at the same time. You are a guy with those special qualities that set you apart from the rest of us lowly humans. I have a feeling that you are going to do great things.

Asher said...

Beautifu picture! he composition is amazing. You are a talented guy

I also liked you words. Its nice that you still write for yourself. There's always pressures in the world that try and pull you into them. Resist and be who you are and life will be great!

David said...

You are obviously not Jewish! Us Jews like to be sucessful, but we also like to complain the entire way to the top! And once we get there we also like to bitch about how hard it is to stay here and how difficult it was to get there. Its this whole big production. We are like exact opposites! Except we both like guys!

Lola said...

Never apologize for being you. (That's why most of us have blogs anyway!)

Randy said...

I am curious to see what all of those e-mails said. I loved this post. I am just wondering what inspired it all.

Jason said...

I don't understnad people that go to blogs and then criticize them. What makes them the expert on your life!? Don't let anybody make you feel like you shouldn't have written something or that your feeling weren't valid! They have no idea what they are talking about! You are a special person with a gift for people. You are also a very sensitive guy and it seems like lately you have been building up your armor to the sensitivity. Don't change who you are to make other people happy.

Enzo said...

I hate it when people talk about things that they do not understand! Obviously you recieved a lot of negative emails over that picture that you posted on wednesday. I think that you were just being honest and people should not pounce on you for a moment of weakness! I love the way that you handled the situation though. This is one of your best posts. You really put a lot of who you are into your words, and they really shine through.

Craig said...

I have to agree, this is one of your better posts. You really stuck it to whoever was being a negative nancy! Good stuff. Keep up the good work and have an awesome time in Hawaii!!

Anonymous said...

If I had a nickel for everytime that I heard something this fucking stupid, I would have exactly 1 nickel! Because that was the stupidest shit that I have ever heard!

Jenn said...

Don't you hate it when people say something to be shocking, but then they say some of the same old shit that you have heard a million tims before!? This anonymous guy is a douche. Don't pay attention to him, he's really lame.

You are a good guy. You don't need to explain yourself to your readers, but thanks for doing so anyway. Keep up the good work, I love your blog!

Chris said...

What a nie little simile! Where is that from!? I swear that I have heard it in a movie somewhere. That's really going to bother me!

I think that you do great by living life the way that you do. You are funny, insightful and sensitive. Of course there are always going to be people like, "anonymous", who feel the need to be assholes. But they are the minority. I enjoy your blog because I can tell that you never sensor yourself and that the feelings that you share are extremely raw. I love that about your blog!

Don't ever change.

Trevor said...

There you go Eric! Stick it to the lame asses that think they can give you shit! But I do have to say that even when you are trying to be an ass you come off as being really polite! But for the people that know you, we could tell that you were angry. Don't let people that read your blog affect you so negatively.

We need to go for some El BJ's later! I haven't had that yet, and I have been craving it for months! I will call your cell later. Don't make plans for dinner.

John said...

I am very curious about all of these e-mails that you have recieved from people! What were they saying? I think that you should post one of these e-mails so that we can all tell these guys how ridiculous they are being! What do you say>??

I love this pic dude. It has some awesome effects. I also liked that little metaphor about the duck. You are a good writer. I love to read the things that you come up with. You are really original.

Steve said...

I think that I am in love with you. This was amazing and you are amazing. The picture was awesome, and one day you are going to have to explain spiderman in the pic to us... Sorry that people have been giving you shit, just as long as you realize how great you are then their BS shouldn't matter. Keep doing what you are doing, because I love to read about it.

Anonymous said...

you rock! I loved this post, and the picture was pretty cool also.

Josh said...

Great attitude. Writing a blog has really helped you grow as a person. I hope that you will be able to seperate the good from the bad. You are a really good person and you have a lot to offer the world. I can't wait to see what you do next.

You wrote a great post. I would have to agree with a lot of the other commentors that this was one of your best posts. Don't let people like "Anonymous" influence you and your decisions. You are to cool for him to fully understand! later guy!

Frank said...

Way to work it out man! You totally grabbed the bull by the horns and put those losers in their place. I hope that you can find your confidence and show all the people in Hawaii what you are all about!

Marc said...

I love all of your irrational thoughts dude! That's the best part of your blog. Don't ever change. I am sorry that people feel the need to be asses, but you just keep on doing what you are doing because that's what makes you YOU! Do you really think that people visit your blog (that is completely void of hot naked guys all over the place) because you are uninteresting or they hate what you have to say!?

NO! They keep on coming back because you are a talneted and easy going guy. You are insightful and friendly and there issomething about you that makes you the most relatable guy that I have ever read. Show your old team that there's no school like the new school! Good luck Eric!

Brad said...

Powerful words man. Live your life for yourself and yourself only! You are awesome for being able to stand up for yourself and say something. I am sure that you are going to blow everybody away in Hawaii. Don't let anybody intimidate you. You are better than that.

Anonymous said...

I think that you are an amazing guy with a lot going for you. I get why having people bothering you would get quite annoying, but I think that you did the great thing confronting the issue also. If you donj't like something you shouldn't ignore it and hope that it goes away. Good for you.

Anonymous said...

Youth against the establishment dude!

Perrin said...

Be as crazy and irrational as you want to be! I have never thought of you as a crazy or irrational person, but maybe by your standards you are. Soo keep on doing what you are doing, because I think that you are doing a great job at whatever that is!

Anonymous said...

that was the nicest little "fuck you" that I have ever gotten! You should do that for a living.