Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Something my uncle said...


I have been having this same dream every night for a very long time. It's about something that my uncle told me years ago. I had totally forgotten about it until very recently, and now it won't really leave my mind!

My Uncle Tino is a very cool guy. He's exactly 8 years older than me, and we share the same birthday. Growing up, I wanted to be just like him. Only he's way too cool for me to ever actually be like him! He's a very talented musician and an accomplished hip hop dancer. In addition to those things, he's also ALWAYS the center of attention because he is the funniest and handsomest guy that you will ever meet.

Anyway, after he graduated from Cornell (an Ivy League University in the coldest part of the US) he came home with a couple of extra pounds on his body. Always the joker, he told me, "Ryan, you know that you are too fat when you are in the shower and you look down and you can't see your penis!".

At the time I laughed and then forgot about it. However, recently I have been dreaming about being in the shower, then looking down and not being able to see my penis! The first time that I had this dream I woke up laughing my ass off! Then when I showered in the morning I made sure to look down and double check that my penis was still visible. Yet this has not provided me with the comfort that I assumed it would. Because this is a recurring dream of mine that I have been having over and over ever since! I look down and I can't see my penis! All that I can see is the HUGE stomach. I look like a fucking pregnant woman in my dream! I honestly never thought that I could be so freakin vain. But honestly I also never thought that I would be able to fit into size 32 pants (especially since my dad is still a 30! And that is the freakiest thing of all! My father is in better shape than I am. How many sons can say that about their father!?)! I have about 2 more weeks on the steroids and then hopefully I will go back to normal. I can not deal with all of this extra weight for very much longer! It's seriously affecting my self esteem in a big way!

I went sailing today. I don't know if I ever wrote about it, but I am an experienced sailor. I spent 2 weeks sailing the Caribbean when I was 14 with a summer camp. Then every summer since I have gone out in the ocean for a couple of weeks with friends or family. It was really nice going out there on the ocean with a couple of friends that had nothing to do with surfing. I have also done a lot of thinking about my surfing career and I have decided that I need to take a break from all things practical! I am not doing myself any good stressing out over all of this nonsense! I can't make a decision while I am in this situation. So I think that once I am away from all of this craziness and back in the real world, I will be more capable of making the right decision. I would also like to thank everybody for their advice from comments and emails! I got a little bit more emails than usual, and I have been extremely busy as of late. So it might take me a little while to read through them and get back to you guys.

This is a picture of the sunset today. I was trying to be all arty and what not. I think that it looked better in the little preview window on my camera than it does all big on my computer. It was just such a beautiful sunset that I thought I would try and capture it and share it with you guys. I love being here in Hawaii. LATER!

13 comments:

Kiel said...

Haha. I would die if I looked down at my penis and all that I could see is a HUGE stomach! Dude I won't be surprised if I have that very same nightmare now! Thanks a lot.

Trevor said...

We really need to go sailing when you come back. I haven't been out om my dad's boat since we took it out last year! DUDE! I can't believe that you are staying out there in HI longer! You were totally supposed to be home by now.

Dude you really need to get over this whole "fat" thing! You are not fat! I mean you definitely don't look like your normal self right now, but you are far from fat! I would say that you have about 20 lbs before I would call you fat. So don't get all anorexic on me or anything!

Kewl sunset.

Asher said...

You shouldn't let your weight affect you so much. Especially if it is temporary! I know that it must be hard to not think about your body in a negative way right now, but it seems like you are a lot more than your looks. Don't let this be the thing that defines you. In a few weeks you will be back to normal, so focus on the other issues in your life that are going to have a lot more of an effect on you!

Tom said...

I've just been checking. What does it mean if you can see your penis, but you can't see your toes?

:-)

topher said...

I think that might be a filipino old wives (uncle) tale. I got the same story from an uncle back when I was in HS. It haunted me all through HS till I got to college.

Jason said...

Hahaha! That's funny. I can still see my penis so I think that I am all good. But you really shouldn't get hung up on your temporary weight gain. Because it will be gone soon enough.

Love the sailing pic.

Chase said...

I have never really thought about my fat in terms of how visible my penis is... I think that this is going to be something that I am going to be aware of from now on! The gays are a very vain people, so get used to it dude!

dan said...

hey enjoy your summer, sounds awesome down there so far, glad you have time to relax and sail etc. i saw this thing on tv about guys surfing big waves down there, and thought of ya.
later.

George said...

That's funny! I have never heard about this whole looking down to see your penis thing. I am going to have to see where I am on my fat meter according to your uncle's scale.

That's a great sunset! Wish I was there. Keep on having fun.

Terry said...

Wait a minute! You mean guys are really supposed to be able to see their penis without a mirror?? Since when?

Anonymous said...

I have never been to the carribean! I am ENVIOUS!! That's such a unique way to spend two weeks. You must have the neatest parents to let you do all of these exotic things!

That's a beautiful sunset. I hope that you have a really goo time for the rest of your time there in hawaii.

Don't stress about this temporary fatness! it could be worse. And you could be like this for the rest of your life. Right?

downunderpants said...

I've got a bit of a gut, but I can still see my penis so I'm not quite sure where you're going with this.


Oh! You're saying if you've got a small penis, putting on weight doesn't help the size issue! I get it now!!! :-P

WhiteflameNZ said...

I bet you think this song is about you, dont you, dont you, dont you.

I wouldnt stress too much, next thing you know you will have wrinkles to go with that gut.