Friday, September 07, 2007

Beach Fun

People get so fucking territorial over their surf spots sometimes! Somehow they think that entire strips of PUBLIC beach belong to nobody but their little crews and anybody that tries to surf on their turf is asking for trouble. This morning the boyfriend and I decided to ummm ask for trouble I guess. On a completely separate topic, I am sick and tired of calling my guy, “the boyfriend”, his name is Bradley. Now back to my morning! The local waves sucked but we heard about this awesome secluded spot about 45mins north of where we were. So we hopped into the car and made the trip to this “awesome beach” and it was everything they told us it would be.

The problem became painfully obvious about 20 minutes into our session when a couple of drunk bros paddled out and started to cause some problems. At first they were just being annoying, but they soon escalated to whatever the next level of annoying is. All I had to do was, be the bigger man and ignore the pricks, but unfortunately I am a little bit of a prick myself and I can also be EXTREMELY immature if all the conditions are perfect. This morning was one of those days where everything was just right for me to ummm, shine...

I said some stuff to them, I'm not remembering my exact words, but it was something along the lines of, “inbred dog fuckers with faces so hideous that only their mom’s could love them, which incidentally seemed to be the main problem.” I am pretty sure I threw in a few of the general insults about their breath, looks, mothers and sexuality for good measure. My slams were harsher, my wit was sharper, and my jokes came faster. So they did what all people do when they have been outmatched, they got violent. Well first they threatened to go and get the rest of their friends and then fight us, but I called them, ummm, a name, and they totally lost it!

I have never seen my Bradley fight. I know that he has definitely been in a few fights but I had no idea how well he could handle himself! They both came after me at once because I was the one with the big mouth. Before I had a chance to react, Bradley had tackled both of them and was on top of one of them beating him senseless. I grabbed the other one’s arm, twisted it behind his back, and pressed my knee into his neck as I watched my Bradley kick ass. How wrong is it that the first thing I wanted to do once we were done there, was have sex with Bradley? He was pretty angry with me for not shutting up and basically starting the fight on purpose, but he forgave me fast enough...

5 comments:

Jason said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jason said...

I think brad was more angry about cutting his knuckle on that dude's tooth and getting his newly manicured hands all fucked up than he was at you. At least you two got some afternoon sex and a few hours away from moving all your crap into your house while the rest of us did all the work. All in all I would say you came out on top!

Johnny said...

Remember that one time when we were down by smugglers cove and we got in that stupid beach brawl with the bay boys!? LOL! I am sad that I missed out on all the fun this time, but it's always just a matter of time with a smart ass like you!

D.U.P said...

Can I borrow him, I have a few people I need taken care of!

Joshua said...

RGB, you're such a big manly man! When I grow up, I want to be just like you. ;)