After thoughts...

When I punched that guy for heckling me while kissing my boyfriend, I didn’t think it was a bad thing because I lost control. I felt bad because I am a trained fighter and this guy obviously wasn’t! I got a lot of emails from people after I posted that and they were congratulating me and telling me about how they once felt empowered and had done something similar. But there was a huge difference from what they did and what I did! The difference was that I was trained to do it better and make it hurt more!

I have been losing my cool and fighting a lot lately. Every fight I have been in I am willing to go out on a limb and say that they all deserved what they got, but it still doesn’t justify me losing my temper. I am just so angry about so many things lately and it doesn’t take much to set me off. It’s a lot more than me being angry with my mom and all her bullshit. It’s also about me having to constantly be on guard and sensor myself when I am in public with my boyfriend. I need to watch what I say, my body language, and how and where I want to touch him! It’s total BS and I am sick and tired of dealing with it.

I am not entirely sure of how I am going to deal with this problem. But I am fairly certain that beating the crap out of every guy that pisses me off really isn’t the proper way to handle my issues. Besides, one of these days I am going to come up against somebody who is going to be able to kick my ass, and that's just not going to be good news for anybody! The last time somebody got a lucky couple of punches on me, Tyler and Johnny made sure to return the favor plus some... It wasn't a pretty sight.

Lately I have been doing my best to channel all this anger and hostility in a more acceptable manner. So I turned one of the spare rooms into my personal sparring area and Johnny comes over all the time to play with me! I know it looks like I have the upper hand in the pic, but I am literally half a second from being knocked on my ass and put in a headlock. God damn I love to fight!