Thursday, December 27, 2007

Lazy Day...

One of my favorite things to do is watch, "The biggest loser". But it's more than just watching it that I enjoy, it's actually an entire ritual that I do. First I need to stumble upon it completely on accident. Then the actual ritual begins! I first pause the Tivo and let the show get a little ahead of itself so I don't have to deal with the commercials. Then I run to the kitchen and make myself a HUGE double fudge brownie sundae with everything on it! Including a fresh brownie on the bottom and hot fudge smothered all over the top, 3 scoops of vanilla ice cream, 2 cherries, and more whipped cream than any person should ever put on a single sundae! Then I plop myself on the couch and pig out while I watch the show.

I have no idea what it is about the show that makes me like it so much, and I have no idea why I enjoy eating like a 9 year old while I am watching. Maybe something about eating all those deliciously evil calories and still maintaining my six pack makes me feel really good about myself or maybe I am just a bastard and I kind of feel like in some way this is torture for all those people on the tv screen and somehow even if they can't see me they can sense what I am doing! Whatever my reasoning for my "biggest loser" rituals, they are what they are and it's to late to change them.

So when I turned on the TV this morning I was a more than a little excited to see that there was a biggest loser marathon taking place! So I paused the TV and ran into the kitchen to make myself some ridiculously fattening foods. It was still morning and I was feeling the need for more than a sundae, so I opened up the pantry and thought really hard on what I could make myself and Bradley. I decided on banana and chocolate chip pancakes with powdered sugar and assorted warmed syrups. They were AMAZING, and by the time we were both all done I was on cloud 9!

Once the commercials finally caught up with me and I couldn't fast forward anymore, I decided it was time for the next meal. So the Tivo went back to pause and I sent Bradley to the market for some supplies while I hit the kitchen to start making are next feast! While I waited for my supplies to arrive I threw some refried beans onto a pan and some boxed instant spanish rice onto another. Then I grated a block of cheese and just as I was finishing heating up the tortillas Bradley arrived with the rest of our food for the day! I threw the green sauce into a pot and added a clove of garlic (old family secret!) then I started shredding the pre-cooked chicken. about 20 minutes later we were eating Enchiladas smothered in cheese, with refried beans and spanish rice on the side. YUM!!!

By the end of that meal I was pretty much in a food coma and I couldn't have been more happy. I really enjoy eating. Bradley and I took a few breaks to do a couple hundred sit ups and some pretty decent living room sex. We were actually able to go almost 5 hours before the commercials finally caught up with us again. So that gave me plenty of time to let the food pass through me and give Bradley and I ample time to prepare for a 3rd glutenous feast of the day.

Dinner was pretty simple. We threw a couple of porterhouse steaks on the grill and made some instant mashed potatoes and canned gravy. For dessert we had some fresh chocolate chip cookies and a couple scoops of ice cream. As the final episode ended, we both agreed that Brain from California was really hot, and that we really needed to go on a 2 mile [minimum] jog before we went to bed. So we did and now it's like almost 10 and I am ready to sleep.

Christmas was super hectic for me. There was a little drama that I don't really have enough time to get into at the moment, but for the most part it was pretty enjoyable. I got a couple of AMAZING presents that actually made me cry, and I even gave a couple of presents that had the same effect (which is always a pretty awesome feeling). Tomorrow Bradley and I are headed up to Mammoth for some snowboarding and such with a dozen of our closest friends to ring in the new year and have some serious drunken shenanigans. I hope everybody reading has had an amazing christmas and are gearing up to have an even more awesome new year.


Trevor said...

You are the laziest guy on the planet. You are so lucky you are pretty because if you didn't have your looks there's no way you could make it in this world. I am willing to bet money you haven't even started packing yet. Sorry I am just jealous because everything I ate today was cooked in a microwave and I haven't gotten laid since October. I am taking serious thought into lowering my standards so I can finally have a nice hard fuck!

Anonymous said...

Taking pleasure in obese people's pain and suffering isn't funny. You need to show some empathy to your fellow man. Your ignorance shows how much you lack in humanity.

Ben said...

You would make me the happiest fat man on the planet if you cooked like that for me!

Jason said...

I have to admit when we serendipitously stumbled upon the biggest loser and had those fudge brownie sundaes a few months ago, it was oddly satisfying. Well eve more than the normal brownie sundae satisfaction which on it's own is still pretty amazing! I do think its definitely the sadist in us coming out to play. LOL!! I am going to be there tomorrow. Save some of that fresh powder for me or else there's going to be hell to pay!