Saturday, May 02, 2009

Quick stop @ home!

Thursday night…

Tyler: So… You are going to miss Jane’s Bday, Your uncle’s album release party AND the Stephen Lynch concert all because you don’t want to fly to LA since you just came down 2 weeks ago!?

RGB: It just seems like it’s a bit excessive and I am having some serious guilt about earning $20/hr and being able to afford to live in Manhattan and fly down to LA whenever I feel the need. ESPECIALLY when everybody I work with struggles to pay rent every month and they live in QUEENS! I just don’t think I have it in me to tell my coworkers that I, YET AGAIN, decided to come to LA on a whim and I spent the weekend doing unimaginably awesome things while they all shared a single package of Ramen and begged for change on the street corners! They hate me enough as it is.

Tyler: To bad! I already bought you a plane ticket home. I just emailed it to you, your plane leaves at 10am tomorrow.

RGB: I am torn between acting all butt hurt because you went behind my back and purchased these tickets after I already said I wasn’t going to be coming down, or thanking you profusely because I was kind of hoping you would do something like this therefore shifting my spoiled rotten rich kid guilt onto you!

Tyler: Well you always have been a manipulative little shit! But you aren’t as clever as you think you are. Don’t think I can’t tell when I’m being played by you! I’ll pick you up from the airport tomorrow.

Fast forward to the next day, I am in LA and thinking about how this is going to be a pretty awesome weekend! I had just enough time to run home and steal some of my little brother’s clothes because mine were too tight on my fat ass (Side note. Apparently some people have taken offense to me calling myself fat because they don’t think that I am. So let me clarify that I think fat is the when I flex my abs and the only way somebody can tell that I am doing so is because it looks like I am trying to take a shit! Plus I am starting to develop Buddha face. Besides I am totally fat by Los Angeles homosexual standards, just not so fat by Nebraska heterosexual guidelines.). I grabbed some basic clothes from my brother’s closet without asking and then I left for the Wiltern.

EVERYBODY told me that I should have gone with Tyler to the Wiltern. When it comes to navigating east of a coastal city, I have issues! Ask me how to get ANYWHERE on ANY beach city from Santa Barbara down to fucking Pacific Beach, and I will totally tell you how to get there. But head east towards the valley, and that’s no man’s land! I got really really lost and had too much pride to call my friends and ask for directions, so I wandered Koreatown aimlessly until I magically stumbled onto a street that was semi familiar. From there I totally found my way to Wilshire, and from there, The Wiltern.

Stephen Lynch is a down ass G! Usually when I tell people that I like listening to Stephen Lynch people go, “Oh the guy that sings My United States of Whatever right?” and I respond, “Hells mother fucking no! We all know that’s Liam Lynch!”

Then they ask, “Is he the guy that directs all those really creepy movies that I never really understand but for some reason I can’t seem to look away? I didn’t know that guy sang.” and I tell them, “Come on! What the fuck is wrong with you!? That’s David Lynch and to my knowledge he’s not a singer!”

Stephen Lynch is funny but in a really immature dirty frat guy sort of way…

The concert was the bees knees! I laughed until my throat hurt, then I downed a cup of beer and I laughed until I felt the beer coming up again! What can I say? I am a sucker for dumb jock humor! Afterward we hit Roscoe’s Chicken and Waffles and ate until breathing became a problem, then we drove to Hermosa and stopped FFFF for some drinking and late night shenanigans at the beach. I am only going to be here for another 24 hours, but this is already the most fun I have had since the last time I was here! NYC sucks and I can’t wait to come home to LA permanently.

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