Thursday, June 04, 2009

Swirlie time BITCH!

***** Hey guy who's reading this post 5 times a day. What's the deal!? You're starting to freak me out. Wanna talk about it or something?*****

The verdict is in, I AM AN ASSHOLE! But it’s okay because nobody’s really surprised by that fact.

On Tuesday afternoon and I am EXHAUSTED after a crazy weekend flying cross country YET AGAIN for a HS graduation and an impromptu party at the beach. I am sitting at a Starbucks with a couple of my friends and some of their friends and we are just having a nice relaxing time in our own headspace as we sip lattes and make small talk. During all this small talk I pick up my laptop and go online because I remember that I hadn’t had a chance to look at Post Secrets yet and I am ADDICTED to it like WHOA! Then I came upon this postcard…

This is a HUGE pet peeve of mine! Whenever I hear this ridiculous stereotype on television, the movies, or in real life, I kind of want to vomit! I mean seriously, HIGH SCHOOL IS OVER! If you really don’t care, and never wanted to be part of the cool crowd anyway, WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU STILL TALKING ABOUT IT!? Does it make all those screenwriters feel better knowing they got the last word by writing allegorical pseudo-biographies about outcasts outshining the cool kids in the end? The problem with believing what you see on TV all the time is that it’s not actually REAL! The losers in HS turn out to be the very same losers in college, and then they join the adult world never really learning the social skills to be anything else but what they are, because they spent too many years being bitter about not being cool! Like I said, it annoyed me but after a brief pause and a sigh of frustration I was ready to move on but then one of the guys at my table had to open his big mouth!

Guy: That one is so true! The cool kids in HS are all vapid losers, it’s like the only constant in this crazy mixed up world! The great karmic equalizer is that they all peaked at 17 and will spend the rest of their lives knowing their best days are behind them.

FLABERGASTED, I take a moment to really absorb what this guy is saying to me. As a former “HS cool kid” I took offense to this bullshit! I briefly considered putting him in a headlock and dragging him to the bathroom so I could dunk his head in the toilet and flush. I am sure that would have brought back some fond memories! But I don’t because I am a big boy now and big boys use their words.

RGB: That’s the biggest cliché in the book! And what’s worse is it’s not even remotely true! Face facts, when the popular kids grow up they are the ones running the world. Adults identify and elevate the assertive, charming, and personable guys in the real world just like the teenagers do in high school. You like clichés so much chew on this one, “the more things change, the more they stay the same.” It’s not just the losers that get to grow up and become fully realized 3 dimensional human beings with thoughts feelings and desires, its EVERYBDOY! Just because nobody wanted to sit next to you at lunch in 10th grade doesn’t mean you have some special insight into the human psyche! Get over yourself and move the fuck on!

That was basically just a small excerpt of what I said to that poor poor guy! I am pretty sure I made him cry. I usually have a sense of humor about these things. Most of the time I laugh it off and I don’t even think about saying anything back. I think my angry tangent was based more on me being tired and stressed than on me being truly angry with what was actually said. It’s just at that moment I was sick and tired of being thought of as a joke because I was well liked as a teenager.


Anonymous said...

You weren't lying, you are an asshole.

Nine said...

Kids are kids. That's why they call them kids. To be an interesting person you need life experiences. That takes time and has very little to do with the playground hierarchy.

We only had one 'cool' kid at my school as far as I was concerned. He was tall, dark-haired, blue eyed and built like a brick shit-house.

He was the school's star rugby player and had the thighs to prove it.

I nearly fainted when I was shown a picture of his [censored] taken at a final-year party.

Gee, I wonder what became of him... Maybe I should look him up on Facebook :-)

Trevor said...

I can fully imagine you ripping into this poor unsuspecting joker who made an unfortunate joke. He wasn't really attacking you personally yet you totally took it personal. What this guy said was definitely stupid, but you did was just plain mean! But I guess it was important of the omniscient RGB to teach this lowly mortal a valuable life lesson about social classes and knowing his place in the hierarchy. Kudos!

Sam said...

you are SUCH an arsehole.

Things change, people change.

You are, as I said, an arsehole of unimaginable proportions and I have no sympathy for you.

you're little opening line disclaimer doesn't make it ok, either.

Jason said...

I do agree you are an asshole, HOWEVER I don't think what you did was out of line. He made an arrogant and condescending statement thinking it was clever and the right thing to say. We both know this guy and him calling ANYBODY vapid or shallow is the pot calling the kettle black. This guy is a hypocritical douche and I am glad you put him in his place. Also I am sad you didn't give him a swirlie! That would have been priceless.

lee said...

After reading your entry I you did come off like a dick, but then I read that comment about the guy being a douche and deserving it for the way he is and I felt like I got some more context to this story. Were you reacting to what this guy said or were you reacting to the guy himself and letting his words be the catalyst for a blow up that was bound to happen sooner or later anyway?

mike said...

Were you really a cool kid in H.S.? I don't know of any REALLY cool kids that would attack those below them. Most cool kids live in the "cool kid" stratosphere and let the rest of the world exists, unnoticed. Why bother with the underlings? Why even acknowledge they exist?

To get angry at the underlings implies something wrong with one's own life. Umm, maybe living the H.S. dream of being a surfer instructor camp counselor, all-pro surfer, getting married and having kids will come true someday. I'm sure it will. You just need to try harder, but stop picking on the underlings. They can't help being inferior.

RGB said...

Ummm Mike, if we are listing all of my accomplishments you forgot multi discipline martial arts champion, ivy league graduate, engineer, trailblazing artist, B-boy, and surf camp DIRECTOR. Anyway the only dreams I ever had in HS were pornographic and had absolutely nothing to do with anything that requires clothing or marriage (ick!).

Mike said...

I was drinking and commenting. Big hug. Have a great summer. Keep posting. Love reading about your life.

John said...

Sometimes people just need to be put in their place. I couldn't really speak to how much of an asshole this makes you, but in this scenario I'd say this person got what he deserved. Whenever an individual disparages somebody they open themselves up to that very same treatment. You only gave him a taste of his own medicine.

will said...

I took the postcard to mean that although they may succeed later in life and be personable, that in high school they weren't worth being friends with. As a former "popular" kid in high school, I know most of my friends were dicks, and that the friendships I have kept up with have been with unpopular kids from high school. Also, just because unpopular kids may not have had social skills in high school doesn't mean they wont develop them at all. ("The losers in HS turn out to be the very same losers in college.") Sweeping stereotypes about others are just as bad as the ones being made against you.

Trevor said...

Now that I know who the guy RGB chewed out was, I am okay with it. He's a bitch and deserved it.

"Will" You seem like a nice guy but you are obviously an idiot. Your inference is based on ridiculously lame logic and it's clearly derived from your need to bash RGB. There is no way anybody could get what you did from that postcard. RGB may be guilty of stereotyping but you are even more guilty of being a condescending jerk.

Mind Of Mine said...

I am just reading this post after you linked it in your newest post. Wow, some people are over-reacting. Sam for instance.

There is nothing in this post that makes you sound like an asshole.

The fact is, Popular or not, how cool we were in high school does not determine the path in life we will take.