Thursday, August 20, 2009

One more week!

It’s no secret this summer kicked off with all kinds of personal drama for me. This summer was supposed to be all about me escaping all my problems and existing in this tiny microcosm where things like failed relationships and shitty parents aren’t included in my life story. Then this kid gets shot right before my eyes and all of a sudden I find myself unable to compartmentalize my drama like I normally do. The first week after it happened I slept a grand total of 9 hours. The following week I was in this crazy manic state where I just worked myself into the ground. The third week I drank a whole lot of alcohol and made ridiculously inappropriate jokes about the shooting to try and cover up the fact that I was still freaking out about it. By the fourth week I was finding any excuse I could to be alone where I spent WAY too much time crying uncontrollably where nobody could see or hear me. After that I finally started to deal and things actually got better for me.

Last week was my last week with both of the camps I work for. I was planning on taking these last few weeks of August and sleeping. I am crazy exhausted from all the work I have been doing and traveling that was a part of my job. Unfortunately I don’t know how to say no to people and an old friend called me up to BEG that I come work for his camp for the last two weeks of summer. This is a special session here at camp for children that are struggling with health issues. The kids are awesome and being here and knowing how much I have to contribute makes me feel really good about myself and extremely happy for these kids and the experience they are getting.

At the beginning of June I had no idea my summer was going to be so crazy and take so much out of me. I haven’t really had time to reflect on everything that has happened to me or how I feel about all of it, but I think things have turned out as well as they possibly could all things considered. At least the nightmares are gone and I don’t wake up in a cold sweat crying hysterically anymore, cuz that really sucked! I have another week here at this camp, then I come home for a week. This is going to give me just enough time to do my laundry and pack for my big relaxing get away trip! I will be gone for a few weeks and I am planning on staying away from all the evils of man i.e. cell phones, computers, guys, and your mom. I’ll try to get in a few posts before I leave.


Trevor said...

It took you some time to really start coping with what you went through, but I am glad you finally gave yourself the opportunity to heal. I can't wait for you to come home, even if it is only for a week. I hope you continue to enjoy your last week @ camp!

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