Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Money on my mind


This last week I have been taking a break from everything so I could get a good grasp on my finances. I am not hurting for money right now, but before this week I had no idea how much I had or where it was. I basically go through life writing checks and using my debit card hoping there’s something in my accounts but never really sure if there is. Getting a handle on my finances is very important to me because I don’t have a job and finding prospects for future employment is almost as likely as me getting struck by lightning or finding affordable healthcare.

The first thing I realized as I was figuring out if I had a pot to piss in was that I have way to many god dam pots! I have 8 fucking bank accounts that I use regularly and 4 accounts that haven’t seen any activity in years. I hate money, I have no idea how to manage it, and even though I minored in mathematics, figuring out how much cash I had was impossible and I ended up having to call a professional to come help me out! Lucky for me one of my closest friends is an accountant and took some time out of her busy schedule to set me straight. After 9 days of me bitching and her lecturing me for keeping such crappy records, we figured out that I am doing a lot better than I should for being a clueless moron, but I need to learn how to budget if I want it to stay that way.

Shit was consolidated, shifted and other stuff, so my money would work for me or something. After it was all done my brain hurt and I had no idea how anybody was able to do this shit without somebody like my friend doing it for them! I have never had this kind of control over my finances because I have always equated money with greed and selfishness so I would prefer to think about money as some abstract idea rather than something tangible that needs to be managed and scrutinized over. I am not being greedy or selfish by worrying about what’s in my accounts, I am being responsible. Is this what it feels like being an adult?

4 comments:

Trevor said...

O wow, you can balance a checkbook. But I can ride my bike with no handlebars! NO HANDLEBARS! You should go to bartender school and then get a job flirting with people and mixing drinks. You'd be really good at something like that.

Anonymous said...

It is unimaginable to me how a person has no sense of how much money they have. This is atypical of how the rest of us here on earth lives. The way you view money is silly and childish and only a rich pampered brat would be able to relate to it. You've shown your true colors and they are pitiful.

Mike said...

Money Sucks! It really does. Basically, I don't spend it, therefore I don't need it.

But anyway... this is for Bradley....
MTV searching for athlete's coming out stories

Anonymous said...

Got a great laugh out of your post. It's pretty much how I feel about money right now - minus having a friend to set me straight. Thanks for the lift.