Wednesday, November 04, 2009

The Cycle

There are certain people from your life, more specifically your past, which you hope never to interact with again. You grow complacent with the fact that it has been quite some time since your last encounter. Then the Universe gets bored and decides that it would be fun to mix things up. And then you run into said person while playing with your dog at the dog beach while any other NORMAL person would be at work like a good respectable adult should be. And you avoid her for as long as you can only to have her come barreling down the beach right towards you. And now there is no escape; you are trapped in dithering conversation with this awful cunt rag, so vacuous and annoying that you are actually considering faking a seizure. At one point, you think she might invite you to have lunch with her. You start bargaining things you probably shouldn’t, like your soul or first born, in exchange for being transported anywhere else. You realize she is still talking and begin to make list of things that are more fun than engaging in this conversation: licking a frozen telephone pole; attending a human sacrifice; watching paint dry; sitting through an episode of The Hills. Finally, after the 20 minutes that seemed to last an eternity, she slowly begins to meander towards the ocean where the water breaks without so much as a goodbye. And with that, the terrifying experience is over as suddenly as it started. So you vow never to be caught unaware again. But then, of course, you spot your dog chasing seagulls and its really adorable, so much so you forget to watch out for questionable people, and the whole unseemly cycle begins anew.


Mike said...

Was this your mom?

Mike said...

I take back what I said above. It was mean. My two days of scuba diving was canceled because of topical storm Ida, and I was drunk.