Wednesday, March 31, 2010

NERDgasm!

As you all know, I am a CS engineer. Which means I grudgingly yearn for all things new and innovative in the tech world. See, I am what most people would call, a walking contradiction. Because while one part of me goes apeshit for tech (the part that ALWAYS WINS OUT!), another part of me wants nothing more than to become a staunch Luddite smiting anybody with a cellphone or iPod! But I have to say after viewing this vid of the interface in action, my inner Luddite killed itself after seeing the light.

I know that this is just a concept being kicked around by the Microsoft gods; still I seriously just creamed my pants thinking about all the practical applications I could use this device for in my daily life! The iPad, like 99% of apple's products, is overhyped and fucking stupid! Don't even get me started because this entry will be 40 paragraphs long by the time I'm done with my tangent! Let's just say I have no respect for the over-privileged hipsters in the coffee shops with their macbook pros. You assholes just spent over $2000 on a device you use to check your email, watch porn, and occasionally write a word document. It's too much machine for most anybody that buys one and honestly, you look fucking ridiculous using it!

Whoa, I totally let that get away from me. MY POINT! This device needs to be made into a reality ASAP. With some kind of specialized tegra chip and an OLED display the battery life on something like this could be totally doable. I seriously haven't seen a user interface that got me this excited (and wasn't in some awful futuristic sci-fi movie) in YEARS!

Dear Microsoft gods,

If you make this concept a reality, I promise to upgrade all my computers to Windows 7, and openly heckle any and all apple users (more so than I do already). Also, if I ever have kids, I will give them up to you (what the fuck is a gay man with the attention span of a cocker spaniel doing with kids anyway?)

Thank you for listening Microsoft gods.

As always, your faithful costumer,

RGB


9 comments:

Anonymous said...

Are you always this judgemental over other people's preferences? Do you think you know what is going on in every single mac user's mind? It must be nice being so superior to everybody around you.

dean said...

It is not clear to me what concern it is of yours how others choose to spend their money. I have a macbook and I only use it for almost exclusivly the reason you listed above. And I would gladly spend over 2 grand for the kind of security and dependability a mac offers. If that means I get mocked by judgemental narcissists such as yourself so be it.

Mike said...

haha a post short and a penny early Is that how that saying goes? Well any, away....

“This device is laughably absurd,” goes a typical remark on a tech blog’s comments board. “How can they expect anyone to get serious computer work done without a mouse?”

Mike said...

Oh, I forgot...

"The haters tend to be techies; the fans tend to be regular people."

:)

I have to admit. I switched to a MacBookPro about five years back, but I also use "parallels" which avails me my MS Office and porn in Windows XP.

Porn is so much better in XP!!

RGB said...

o yeah, AND anoymous and dean, you guys are stupid too.

RGB said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
RGB said...

Mike you need to be more clear about what you are talking about! I just wrote this scathing comment on the idiocy of your bombastic claims. Then I clicked on that link and I realized you were talking about the iPad! Now I just feel dumb. Thanks!

Mike said...

incoherency is a tradeamark of mine. what can i say?

On Top, Downunder said...

The Courier was going to be amazing.... sadly, like most MS prototypes they have scrapped it.

I don't get why they are hell bent on not releasing anything that would actually make them relevant.