Tuesday, October 19, 2010

The Money Pit

My Life, As Presented By Mastercard...

Multiple X-Rays & a new specialist for each part of my broken body: $6545
Pills, ointments, injections, braces, and monthly PT costs: $9925
Various corrective surgeries and other medical procedures: $198,000
Having the Doctor tell you your dislocated shoulder can’t be fixed and there’s a “chip” floating around in your ankle that will just hurt like a bitch forever: Priceless
There are some things money can’t buy. For everything else, there’s FUCK YOU SHITTY BODY.

These last couple months have been dedicated to my health and general well being. And I am starting to think it was all just a big fat waste of time and money! At first things were looking promising in terms of what I could realistically fix, and what I could learn to live with. Then as time went on things started piling up in the “learn to live with” category, while things that were supposed to get fixed got less and less realistic.

Meanwhile the medical bills started piling up and my agent kept hassling me to take on more jobs. Bing. Bang. BOOM. I have made 3 commercials in a month and a half and I kind of feel like a cheap $2 whore. The only positive thing to come out of this is that I have been able to collaborate a lot with Eddie lately and it’s been a lot of fun working with a friend! Somehow he makes selling my soul for a couple bucks feel not so terrible. Also he is literally the most talented artist and director I have ever met, and being in his presence has me constantly in awe of everything he does. I just always feel like I am constantly witnessing history in the making because he’s just that fucking talented!

I guess another positive thing that has come out of this whole disaster is that spending so much time in the studio has forced me into actually working on some personal media projects that I would have otherwise procrastinated out of existence. It feels good to be creative and it feels even better flexing those creative muscles while I am supposed to be finishing up lame ass corporate ads; cuz I am a badass like that. I have been tossing this idea around in my head for a shortfilm and in my head it’s AMAZING, but I am having the hardest time actually seeing it into fruition! It’s driving me nuts, but like I said, at least I have the time to be driven nuts by it.

But seriously, I still really fucking hate anything and everything about advertising. In just this short time I have already been able to break down the secret code that these agencies use when speaking to me. For instance, when they say things like, “We would like you to storyboard these ideas yourself so you can have full creative freedom to really let loose and make something special!” What they mean is, “we are going to get you to do this shit for free and then ask for a buttload of revisions and changes along the way because we are too cheap for an in-house artist!” Then when they sit you down for 2 hours discussing their “ideas” using keywords like, “dynamic, creative, and different” What they are really trying to tell you is that they have no fucking clue what they want, but it was imperative that they waste your entire afternoon pretending like they did. I could go on forever but I won’t because it will only make me more bitter.

I am currently responsible for 3 national tv spots that can actually be seen on primetime most nights and a couple of print ads that are pretty much everywhere too. There was a time when I would have been really disgusted with myself for being a part of the corporate machine like this, but I gots bills to pay and can’t afford no lame ass principals while being 6 figures in debt! Also, that small twinge of pride I am feeling whenever I see my work on TV and magazines; I am pretty sure is proof that I lost my soul when i wasn’t paying attention... It’s cool though cuz I’m gay and I don’t think I will have much use for a soul in the afterlife anyway ;o)


Mike said...

Actually selling your soul becomes very addictive. After a while you start think how much more can I trick these people into paying me butt loads of money... its all a game.... in the end, we're all dead anyway... if there's a high associated with it, then why not do it? whatever it is.

Mind Of Mine said...

As Missy Elliot once said : Ain't no shame lady do your thing, just make sure you're a head of the game.

Chin up ;)

Doomed But Cheerful! said...

I am not vain enough to think I even have a soul. When the lights get turned off, there's nothing.
Enjoy today =]