Monday, April 18, 2011

Another Coachella post...

This year I have struggled with a lot of my decisions to do things that I have always done. Its not that I no longer want to do these things, its more that my body really isn’t up to letting me do them. I can’t go surfing, I can’t practice martial arts, and I can’t even go skateboarding anymore because my asthma will act up or my frail ass body will just give out on me again! It’s true that slowly I am getting better. Last Thursday I ran a mile in under 10 minutes, which is something I haven’t been able to do since this time last year (even though this time last year I would probably be very close to completing a second mile in that amount of time!).

I haven’t gone surfing in 10 months. I haven’t gotten on the mat to spar with a buddy in a year. I haven’t picked up a skateboard in so long that I am not even sure I still no how to ride one! I didn’t even get to go snowboarding during one of the best winter seasons of my entire life! Everything I do that makes me who I am, I can’t do it anymore, so who the fuck am I!? I know that to a lot of people this all sounds ridiculous. I have so much going for me that it’s pretty much disgusting how I can’t be satisfied with what I have. I am in love, I have the best friends in the world, and I make money being artistic and creative. I have a great fucking life and I KNOW that I should be satisfied, but it’s just not enough.

I needed some kind of return to normalcy! I didn’t care how small the gesture was, I just needed to do something that I have always done and get through it in one piece. Enter Coachella. For anybody that’s been reading this blog for any amount of time, you know that I have gone to this music festival EVERY SINGLE YEAR it’s existed. It’s what I do. For a few years I worked for the festival, for a few years I worked at the festival, and for a couple years I just went to enjoy the festival. This year was going to be all about enjoyment.

On Thursday morning Brad and I packed up the SUV and headed for his uncle’s house in Palm Springs because there’s no such thing as a vacancy in Palm Springs during Coachella weekend and this was a last minute decision. Friday I got a little overzealous running around the fields to the different bands and by 6 I was in soo much pain that I just laid down right where I was and didn’t move until around 8 (but from where I was I did get to see the LEGENDARY Ms Lauryn Hill, she still has it!). After that I refused to leave because I still had to see The Black Keys, The Aquabats, break for some Heineken and a few friends in the dome, and then finish the night off with some Flogging Molly.

Saturday morning I woke up feeling like I had been trampled by a mob the day before. It was 12 before I got out of bed and 3 before I finally started to feel somewhat human again. We headed for the venue around that time, got there and parked ourselves in front of the main stage and just sat there the whole day. It was pretty nice and relaxing and I got to see about 80% of everybody I wanted to see that day anyway, so it was nice. We even called it an early night and left after Animal Collective around 10:30. I really wanted to see the Scissor Sisters but I knew I shouldn’t push it because I still had another day of this bullshit and I had to make it to the festival crazy early because I had a friend performing pretty early in the day who would KILL me if I wasn’t there onstage off to the corner.

Sunday I woke up and KNEW I was done! Even my hair hurt. I took a shit ton of pain meds and called a doctor friend of mine for a cortisone shot. This whole thing was turning into the worst kind of endurance test EVER! We got there just in time to watch my friend, as always he really was truly amazing. The fucker is so talented it kind of makes you want to punch him in the face even though he hasn’t done anything wrong! At that point I was done though. I like The Strokes SO HARD it’s not even reasonable. They have one of the top 5 the hottest drummers in rock music! Plus I love their new album. But I just didn’t have it in me.

Coachella kicked my ass. I really can’t do anything anymore. Intellectually I know that I am still in the process of getting better and becoming stronger, but I still can’t help but feel so defeated after a weekend like this! Its just really hard to think about how much work I have put into getting better and then realize how much more I have to do before I am where I want to be. I am just feeling sorry for myself and I really need to get over it, I KNOW!

I am being a spoiled rotten brat right now! I had a good weekend. I got to spend a lot of quality time with my boyfriend and a lot of my good friends like Tyler, Johnny, my little brother, and a whole lot of other people. I saw dozens of amazing performances that a lot of people will never get the opportunity to see. I laughed, I recreated and I enjoyed. I am going to focus on that and then deal with the rest later…


Miike said...

Lauren Hill as Legendary! Similarly, a friend recently referred to her as an Icon. The chick made ONE great album that's IT (other than her contribution to the Fugees)! Let's see her make a second "great" album. Then maybe legendary or icon. For now, she's just Miss Hill to me.

On other beat, can't even image your health issues. Can't relate, but hope your body heals!

RGB said...

Ok I just had a physical reaction to what you are saying about lauryn hill! Setting aside the Fugees, Yeah she only recorded one studio album, but that album was FUCKING BRILLIANT! Miseducation is both powerful and timeless. No matter what kind of music a person prefers, they can put that album on and find something the like. In addition to that, what she added to Bob Marley's "Turn Your Lights Down low" oh man, she turned a great song into an epic love song that still washes over me and leaves me feeling all warm inside.

If you need to be truly convinced go no further than the world's greatest wordsmith in Rap, Talib Kweli and give "Ms Hill" a listen. Lauryn IS powerful woman who changed the way I listened to music and for that to me, she IS A LEGEND

Miike said...

Okay, maybe you're partially right for yourself, and wholly right for everybody else in the world, except me. In my mind, I refuse to present her Legendary or Icon status, because she's NEVER MADE that second album.

I listened to "Miseducation" on the day it was release (I borrowed it from the receptionist) and I loved the album. I saw Miss Hill in concert twice that year: pre- and post-grammy wins. I just moved to DC. And I still have my concert T with her 2ft face on the front and "Outkast" on the back; her opening band.

Miss Hill and Mary J. and Whitney dem my girls. But I have to say prior to 2Pac, I was strictly alternative rock. 2Pac changed my world. 2Pac along with Cee-Lo's first band: "Goodie Mob".

But I will admit if Miss Hill completes a second album - it doesn't have to be good, just complete it - I might consider her for legendary status (emotive smile).

Jealous of you because of your history with Coachella. Health or not you got to attend again! That's more than the rest of us.