Monday, November 28, 2011

The houseguest...


This year Brad and I decided that we were going to stay home for Thanksgiving instead of heading north to spend it with our families. We were planning on spending the day in bed eating take out and watching bad TV until we couldn’t deal with it anymore, then we were going to watch bad movies! Unfortunately we both have huge ass families that wouldn’t really let us do that…

Our original excuse for not being able to make it up for dinner was because Brad was in no condition to drive 5 hours both ways. That was when Brad’s parents decided that they would bring Dinner to us so we wouldn’t have to worry about getting up to Santa Barbara. Our next feeble attempt at an excuse was that we’d given the cleaning lady that whole week off to take care of her family and with Brad incapacitated and me in PT 5 days a week there would be no way to get the house ready for the whole clan. That’s when Brad’s mother took it on herself to show up a week early and stay until CHRISTMAS so she could help take care of her convalesced loved ones.

Brad’s mom is a sweet lady with a whole lot of energy. At 55, she’s a newly retired Dermatologist with too much time on her hands and still unsure of how to utilize it. We love her to death, but she’s driving us crazy! Just look at that picture of the inside of my fridge and you will understand exactly what I mean! Seriously, I woke up this morning, opened the fridge, then slammed it shut, then opened it again to make sure I actually saw what I ACTUALLY SAW!!! Between her and the cleaning lady constantly trying to out-clean each other and fighting over who’s doing the laundry to the constant over attentiveness, Bradley and I are about to have a complete mental breakdown!

The problem is neither of us are very used to being doted over like this. His mom worked 70hr weeks while Brad was growing up, and my mom was too busy dating and marrying strange men to ever be THIS CLINGY! We know she just wants to be helpful because she sees that the two of us aren’t at our best, and with intentions like that how could we be mad? BUT STILL, it’s only been two weeks and we’re already plotting our escape from our own home!! We’re pretty certain that there’s no way we are going to last until Christmas. I MEAN COME ON! LOOK AT OUR GOD DAMN FRIDGE!!! WHO THE FUCK LABELS CLEAR CONTAINERS!?!?!?!?

8 comments:

Hetero-Challenged said...

Brad's mom obviously.

Anonymous said...

I've never seen so many labels in a refrigerator ever. This lady has a serious ocd that needs to be addressed with therapy and medication.

Frank said...

You have 4 tubs of butter substitute in your fridge. That's a lot of fake butter. I like the labels, it makes everything seem so streamlined and organized. The not quite butter bothers me more than the labels, which i actually like.

Mike said...

I would switch the labels just to fuck with her.

John said...

You're just gonna have to learn to deal with this extra attention. It does seem a bit anal, but not crazy. It could be worse and she could be hovering over you guys 24/7. Let her have this time. It makes her happy. Don't be heartless!

Mind Of Mine said...

I wouldn't mind being doted on for a couple of weeks.

Jason said...

The problem here is that you aren't used to being around adults. Your entire life you've been surrounded by people relatively close to your age. You should observe and learn, its about time you grow up some right?

Trevor said...

You're stealing her baby boy away from her! You gotta give her this time to see that you can take care of him as good as she can. Let her get all of this out of her system and do your best to keep up your own schedules so she can see that you guys are able to get through life just fine. Then she will be able to go away happy.