Saturday, December 17, 2011

My favorite song...




It’s funny how a single song can mean so many different things as you go through life. I remember the first time I heard this song. I had picked the CD up at this small record store in Hawaii the summer of 2000 while I was training. I popped the CD into my Walkman and pressed play. The second it came on I froze, it was just so haunting and beautiful. I never felt lonelier or more vulnerable than I did in that moment.

“Everyday I wake up alone because, I’m not like all the other boys…”

Right there. An indictment on everything I was just mocking me and calling me out within the lyrics of a band who was going to explain why it’s always raining on me. I can’t tell you how many times I listened to this song, ALWAYS focusing on that opening line. Sometimes while listening I would notice that there were tears coming down and I had no idea why. But there it was, a song about my loneliness and my hopelessness and proof that I was going to always be alone and hopeless.

Eventually my obsession over this song faded and I somewhat forgot about it. It wasn’t until a few years later after Eddie and I broke up that I found this album again. Hearing this song years later with a completely different worldview and a whole new perspective on myself and life in general, the message had changed…

“And ever since I woke up I felt the net, was lifting me out of the sea…”

And there it was! HOPE. Hope that one day maybe I wouldn’t be alone or misunderstood. One day I would be happy and stronger, and one day I would find somebody who could be all those things for me and I could do the same for them. This song no longer made me feel sad, it made me feel so warm and happy and ready for this future where things were only looking up!

Again, the song went away and I forgot about it until last week when I found myself humming it absentmindedly. So I grabbed my iPod and went through my extensive Travis library until I found the version of the song I wanted to hear. And there it was. My new message, my end to this journey I have spent the last 11+ years on.

“And ever since a long time I felt the rain, and there was NO danger, and NO MORE strangers. As you are…”

I was finally able to understand the whole message because of you Bradley. I am so happy and there’s no way things could possibly get any better between us because you’re everything I always wanted or needed and so much more. I know it sounds corny and cliché, but with you by my side I feel like I could do anything. Whether it be climbing the tallest mountains or fighting the fiercest armies, I could do anything with you by my side. I want to be with you forever, and that doesn’t even scare me in the slightest because I KNOW you and I KNOW what’s in your heart. I guess all that’s left to do is ask you to marry me so we can begin forever with each other.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

This is the RGB I miss reading about! That was beautiful. I shed a few tears reading this. I wish you and Brad all the happiness in the world!

frank said...

Never been a big Travis fan. You changed my mind. That was so poignant I listned to this song a half dozen times. You and brad are going to be very happy together.

Trevor said...

That's great. There are going to be a whole lot of guys fighting to be your best man! I don't envy you at all... I know I can't compete against Tyler, Johnny or your little bro, but I think I have earned a spot in the wedding party right? RIGHT?

RGB said...

haha! Trev, you can be the flower girl.

Trevor said...

Only if i get to wear a cute dress and throw rose petals all over the place!

Jason said...

Son, you're a man now! You two are going to make beautiful babies.