Sunday, May 27, 2012


April and May have been insanely busy for Bradley and I. Brad finished his first year of post grad crap and I just finished post on 3 projects simultaneously. Usually after completing such momentous tasks there’s a temporary calm before the next series of events wreaks havoc on our lives, unfortunately that’s not how it worked out for us this time around.

 We are engaged. We had family and friends to tell, parties to plan, a fucking wedding to get ready for! In addition to that, I have never been soo busy professionally. Ever since I left Eddie’s production company I have been bombarded with people wanting me to meet with them for a plethora of jobs. From VFX editor to directing, to co-writing and storyboarding, I have been having a hard time sorting through all of it much less deciding what I want to do next.

 In mid-April Bradley and I flew to Santa Barbara to let his family and friends know that we were finally taking the plunge. There were cheers, tears, handshakes, hugs, kisses, speeches, more cheers and MORE TEARS; it was all pretty exciting and emotionally exhausting. It’s always strange for me when I see an actual family and not the disaster I was born into.

 Next we drove down to LA to tell my clan. We started with the Tylers because they have always been the people I share this kind of news with first anyway. OBVIOUSLY I told Tyler a month before I even proposed. I went over what I was going to say REPEATEDLY with him, I poured out all my anxiety and fears and Tyler gave me the courage I needed to see passed it all. But we’d both decided that telling Mr. & Mrs. Tyler should be a big surprise when we could all be there together. It was awesome. They were so happy for us. I felt loved.

 Up until now this whole process was pretty much a breeze. The rest wasn’t going to be so easy. I started with my dad. He was happy for me, he hugged me and it was awkward. Then he wrote me a check for an insane amount of money to “help out with the wedding”. My dad loves me a lot. It hurts more than anything else. We got up and left shortly after that, the whole thing took about 20 minutes. Afterward I cried and felt like shit for the rest of the day.

 That evening it was my mom’s turn. To my mom’s credit, she’s made a complete 180. My little brother has really forced her to take a long hard look at herself and realize she was in the wrong. Over the last couple years my mom has tried very hard to get back into my life and I have done the best I could accepting her back; but it’s not the same and she knows it. There’s just too much pain that I can’t figure out what to do with. So instead I fake that everything is okay, and she pretends not to notice even though we can both see the pain in each other’s eyes. We told her the news, she cried, hugged us both, she told me how proud she was of me and how excited she was for the both of us, and then we sat around making awkward small talk.

After all that terrible was done, Brad and I went down to Mexico to relax and unwind. And from my previous post, we all know what kind of damage that did. But it was still probably one of the best weeks of my entire life. By the time the week was winding down I felt like a new man and I was ready to face the world again! Brad and I were staying in LA while I took a crapload of meetings and Brad and his sister planned an engagement party and wedding. It’s possible for a super duper jaded LA/NYC boy to get starstruck, because over the next few weeks it happened to me repeatedly. I met with actors, musicians, directors and producers; it was all insanely exhausting and completely overwhelming! The amount of prep that goes into meeting with somebody to discuss a project is pretty big, so yeah I pretty much didn’t sleep for like 2 ½ weeks straight. But I did get to meet one of the sexiest men I have ever seen in real life like EVER, I got to meet guy I have had a crush on since I was like 14, a director I have had a creative boner with since forever, and I got to meet a pornstar who’s probably more famous than all the other people I met combined (somebody at the meeting tweeted about it and for a hot minute we were the biggest thing on twitter!).

So it was a pretty even exchange for lack of sleep. Ok this is getting really long. I am going to take a break and unload the rest of my anxiety at a later time.


Eric said...

That link was heart wrenching. This whole experience was supposed to be special and exciting but it wasn't. I am sorry for you. You have been blessed to have found somebody like Brad so early in your life I wish you two love and happiness.

D. said...

Wow, you weren't kidding about your mom's 180 turn. Nice. BTW is your wedding gonna be in SB? If it's in the next month, I might be tempted to find every single wedding and crash them until I stumble upon yours

Jason said...

You struggle with a lot of things but this relationship is the great equalizer in your life. I am happy for you and this next step in your life. You two are going to be so happy together!

Anonymous said...

Congrats on the nuptials. I would like to know more about this pornstar. Man or Woman? Gay or Straight? DETAILS!!

Mike said...

Congrats on the nuptials. Huge step!! Question: Was your stepmom present when you told your dad?

RGB said...

@ Eric - I am lucky and I know it!
@ D - I am getting married in January, and if I have my way it won't be in California
@ Jason - thanks
@Anon - The pornstar was a guy and I am pretty sure he's extremely heterosexual
@ Mike - My stepmom and I haven't been in the same room with each other since I was 14