Monday, November 28, 2011

The houseguest...

This year Brad and I decided that we were going to stay home for Thanksgiving instead of heading north to spend it with our families. We were planning on spending the day in bed eating take out and watching bad TV until we couldn’t deal with it anymore, then we were going to watch bad movies! Unfortunately we both have huge ass families that wouldn’t really let us do that…

Our original excuse for not being able to make it up for dinner was because Brad was in no condition to drive 5 hours both ways. That was when Brad’s parents decided that they would bring Dinner to us so we wouldn’t have to worry about getting up to Santa Barbara. Our next feeble attempt at an excuse was that we’d given the cleaning lady that whole week off to take care of her family and with Brad incapacitated and me in PT 5 days a week there would be no way to get the house ready for the whole clan. That’s when Brad’s mother took it on herself to show up a week early and stay until CHRISTMAS so she could help take care of her convalesced loved ones.

Brad’s mom is a sweet lady with a whole lot of energy. At 55, she’s a newly retired Dermatologist with too much time on her hands and still unsure of how to utilize it. We love her to death, but she’s driving us crazy! Just look at that picture of the inside of my fridge and you will understand exactly what I mean! Seriously, I woke up this morning, opened the fridge, then slammed it shut, then opened it again to make sure I actually saw what I ACTUALLY SAW!!! Between her and the cleaning lady constantly trying to out-clean each other and fighting over who’s doing the laundry to the constant over attentiveness, Bradley and I are about to have a complete mental breakdown!

The problem is neither of us are very used to being doted over like this. His mom worked 70hr weeks while Brad was growing up, and my mom was too busy dating and marrying strange men to ever be THIS CLINGY! We know she just wants to be helpful because she sees that the two of us aren’t at our best, and with intentions like that how could we be mad? BUT STILL, it’s only been two weeks and we’re already plotting our escape from our own home!! We’re pretty certain that there’s no way we are going to last until Christmas. I MEAN COME ON! LOOK AT OUR GOD DAMN FRIDGE!!! WHO THE FUCK LABELS CLEAR CONTAINERS!?!?!?!?

Wednesday, November 23, 2011

It's my birthday!

I have been having a rough month. I got in a HUGE fight with Eddie a few weeks ago and I may or may not have blown it out of proportion. Usually we see eye to eye on everything, and the things that we don’t, I can easily get him to see things my way. It’s a gift of mine…

What happened was a few weeks ago Eddie and I (I AD on the majority of his projects) had a meeting with an actor who had a screenplay he wanted to produce and star in and was in search of a director. This actor has been in quite a few HUGE blockbusters over the years. But you would NEVER know it because even when he has lines, you NEVER see his face! Its really strange because this guy is quite handsome, very charismatic, and he’s also a pretty decent actor. The big hurdle that this guy had to clear was the fact that he’s Asian.

I looked over the script and it wasn’t terrible, Eddie actually really liked it. What Eddie didn’t like was an Asian actor in the lead. He passed on the project and we got up and left. In the car I asked him what the problem was. He told me that he just couldn’t imagine any situation where he could insert an Asian principle actor without making it feel forced and artificial. THEN he added that this was also the reason why he’s never directed anything with a gay character in it either!

This really frustrated and angered me for a plethora of reasons. Usually when Eddie and I have disagreements, there’s a very specific preordained series of events that happen. First we disagree, then I argue my point and he argues his, promptly afterward I say something snarky and pointed to which he usually acquiesces UNLESS he feels very strongly about it. At this point I concede because this only happens once in a blue moon and I know this is important to him if he’s going to risk my wrath.

This time things did not go according to plan. I just felt so betrayed by his words. When he said those things about Asian and gay characters and staying away from them, all of a sudden I felt like I didn’t even know who he was anymore. This was the guy who taught me what pride is all about! When in reality he has more internalized homophobia in him than a fucking ex-gay Christian! What the fuck is that about!? BUT even more than that, he’s the most talented and creative person I know, and if he can’t see a solution to this imaginary problem, THAT’S REALLY FUCKED UP!!

I think I realized things were getting out of hand when I realized that we were actually yelling at each other. I don’t even know what we were saying to each other, I was just so shocked by the whole scenario and how things were unfolding. As I am trying to describe what’s bothering me, this whole thing sounds ridiculous, but it’s not! This is a big deal because the only way to effect change in the world is to BE THAT CHANGE!

What I love the most about being a filmmaker is that we have the ability to create entire worlds in our minds that we can actually share with people that don’t live in our heads! James Cameron can take us to a world where there are 10ft blue people who commune with animals through a magic braid in their hair, The Wachowski’s can create a reality where all of mankind has become the energy source for millions of self-aware machines; however Eddie can’t envision a single scenario where it would be acceptable to show a gay or Asian person onscreen!?

I always thought of Eddie as this badass rebel who never gave a shit about what other people thought or said. He created how he wanted the way he wanted to and that’s what made him amazing! And now I know that I was wrong to think those things about him. He’s just a follower too scared to make ripples or step out of line. It’s just so sad and pitiful which in turn just makes me sad and pitiful for building him up so much in my mind to be something that he so clearly isn’t. At this point I don’t even want to associate with somebody who’s basically the definition of Uncle Tom.

Bradley says that I am being ridiculous and kind of an asshole right now for making a big deal over this. A part of me (probably the rational part) completely agrees with him, but this other side of me doesn’t want to let it go. I just can’t be creative with somebody who has such a limited imagination. I expected so much more from him and he let me down completely.

Thursday, November 03, 2011

Baby RGB was a badass too!

Johnny showed me this picture a couple weeks ago when I flew out to stay with him. His grandmother found it and thought it would provide him with a little inspiration and motivation while he was training. He keeps it on this huge ass bulletin board at the gym he trains at for all the other fighters to see! We were 9 in this picture in the middle of a Hapkido practice match. Obviously today Johnny is 10 times the fighter I am, he does this professionally! But this picture reminds me that there was a time when I could totally kick Johnny’s ass! And in the end, isn’t that all that matters?