Thursday, February 21, 2008


I get asked a lot about what my feelings are on random hook-ups. People see me as this quiet little Asian boy that would NEVER do anything like that! But the thing that most people are forgetting is I am half white, so in addition to my big fat cock, I have also been blessed with a healthy dollop of sexual deviance. I went through a very long period in my life where sex with people I hardly knew seemed like the only kind of sex I was going to be having for the rest of my life! My first real sexual experiences with men were all with guys I wouldn’t be able to recognize if they walked right up to me and shook my hand!

Back when I was still in the closet, I used to have a lot of random hook-ups with guys I didn’t know very well. Some of them were guys I met on the internet and others were guys I picked up in bars. It was an extremely confusing part of my life and I wasn’t having an easy time processing all these feelings and experiences. So I did my best to have as many of these “experiences” as possible, not really sure why.

I am not going to lie. I totally got a rush out of this whole sex with a stranger thing. It was dangerous and it was the easiest way for me to express this whole other part of myself [sexually] while still being a nameless face. Don’t get me wrong, I NEVER had bathroom sex, or sex in a park or some disgustingly pitiful variation of it. Just exchanging pictures [no names] of each other via email, and then a quick orgasm at my place or theirs was as far as I was willing to go.

Like anything else, it started off pretty tame. Mutual jerk-offs while watching porn, turned into blow jobs and rimming overnight. Then one day, this guy asked me to fuck him. Me being the kind hearted and generous man that I am, I totally jumped on the opportunity, so to speak… Oh man, I worked that ass over like it owed me money! 4 condoms later, that poor guy couldn’t even walk anymore, and I left his house feeling satisfied in a way that had eluded up until that point in my life.

After that night, it was all I ever wanted to do! And there were no shortages in guys willing to get used like that and never expect a call the next day. Things went on like this for quite awhile, RGB the power top, out prowling around for the next hole to stick it in. It’s not really a part of my life that I am proud of, but it was definitely a part of my life where I learned a lot about myself and what I wanted.

It was January, and I had just walked into this bar on the gay part of town looking to hook up. I had just turned 20, so I was still using my fake ID to get into the place. There was this guy sitting at a table all alone, 6’2 and 200lbs, all muscle. I think I got an erection just looking at him. I walked right up to him, and all it took was eye contact to know that I was going home with him.

He was very aggressive. I had never been with a guy like this before. I decided to go with it, because I am always down for a new experience. Before I knew it, I was bent over and getting ready to take it up the butt for the first time. I did my best to, “take it like a man”, but then I started to panic. I didn’t like this feeling of being dominated! I tried to push him off of me, but he outweighed me by at least 60lbs of pure muscle. I freaked out for maybe half a second, and then I grabbed his right wrist and locked it. Then I bent it so he was forced to roll into it. When he was finally off of me, I stood up and grabbed his other arm. Before he had time to react, I had him in a standing shoulder lock, but he was too tall to finish the technique in a choke hold.

I started panic again, because even though I had the upper hand at the moment, he was so much bigger than I was and once that element of surprise was gone I was going to be in trouble! I kneed him in the kidney, and then I socked him in his armpit, grabbed my pants and ran. I didn’t even stop to put them on, I just ran out the front door and straight for my car.

After that night, I completely stopped all that shit I was doing. I think it finally dawned on me that what I was doing was dangerous and there are a lot of people out there that I am no match for no matter how well trained I am. Taking a step back from all the meaningless sex actually gave me the time I needed to focus on myself and really figure out who I was. Once I was finally ready, things started falling into place kind of effortlessly. 5 months passed and I went away to camp and I met my first boyfriend. Almost a year later I found Eddie, and a little over a year after that, I met Bradley.

I feel like everybody needs to go through that phase where sex is more important than companionship. It's not until you become completely burned out on all of it and all those one night stands start to feel a little hollow (or you go through a very sobering experience) are most people ready to move on. So I am emphatically for random hook-ups, because without them we would never realize how important it is to make a REAL connection with someone.

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