Friday, August 24, 2007

What I don't say

I didn’t realize how much I missed you until I saw you waiting for me at the luggage carousel. You ran up to me and we embraced. When your arms first went around me, I could feel the weight of the world being lifted from my shoulders. Somehow you made everything better just by being there for me and understanding what I was feeling without ever saying a word. I shed a few tears, but I wiped them away before our eyes met again. You didn’t notice, or at least you didn’t say anything (and if that’s the case, thank you!). I wasn’t sad. I was relieved and I was happy and I was completely overwhelmed with these new emotions I wasn’t expecting.

As soon as we collected my luggage, we jumped into your car and went straight to In & Out. As we sat there eating our double doubles, we laughed and joked around. I can’t remember our eyes leaving each other for more than 5 seconds that entire meal. Don’t even bother asking me what we were talking about, because I can’t seem to recall that either. All that I can remember are your eyes, your smile, and your voice, all of which comforted me in ways that I could never explain.

Would it be wrong of me to tell you that when you came along, you were completely unwanted? I had just gotten out of the most intense relationship of my life, and just starting to come to terms with my new role as a man-whore. Then you came along and turned my world upside down before I had a chance to tell you to go away! But things change. Even now as you are sleeping next to me while I write this, you are bringing me comfort.

When we first met, I knew that you were special and I was upset because I thought the timing was all wrong. I felt like we could never share anything special because this was all too much too soon. I didn’t think I was ready for you because even now, at this very moment, I am still not over Eddie. However, being with you helps me see that it’s possible to find happiness with someone other than Eddie (or maybe it just shows me how much of a fickle bastard I am) because I am so completely happy with you. This thing that we have could be good, it could even be great. We are just going to have to take it slow; because I don’t think I can take anymore heartbreak.


joshua said...

oh shucks. you didn't have to write all this for me! ;P

seriously, taking things slow is all well and good... actually not so, just ask r*yan and dup. but hope you're the one to buck the rule.

Jason said...

And the reason why you don't say these things are....??? If you said that stuff to me you would get laid soo fast I can't even tell you! Well, if you said, "HI" to me you would get laid so fast I can't even tell you. hahaha.

Trevor said...

If you call what you and Mr. B are doing, taking it slow, I would love to see what happens if you sped things up! By the way last night was sooo much fun, we gotta hang out like that again before I go back to New York. I need to get me my own Endo Board to take back to school with me.

D.U.P said...

I dont talk to you for only a few days and I feel like I'm so out of the loop. Who is this new man???

Fuck taking things slow. just go for it dude!

Anonymous said...

You really know how to pick songs to go along with your posts! That was terribly heartbreaking listening to this song and reading your words. I hope from the bottom of my heart this new relationship works out for you. You seem like a thoughtful and insightful person who wouldn't jump into these things half-cocked. So this must be real on some level. I am happy for you.