Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Summer rush

I’ve been busy. VERY BUSY. Surfing, skateboarding, getting in food fights and hanging out with my buddies hasn’t left me with a lot of time to blog about it. I don’t really have much to say except I am loving life and enjoying my complete lack of free time and personal space. It does a man some good to leave all that introspective reflection behind and just live. I hope everybody else is having just as much fun as I am. I am about to start the second half of my summer adventures skateboarding and such. Check back in a month and I will do my best to write something WAY more interesting!

Monday, July 06, 2009

I like to walk around in circles.

Bradley and I have been spending ridiculous hours on the phone with each other lately. He was really there for me when I needed him and he reminded me how much I missed and needed him. I have been spending a lot of time with him in a nonsexual context and I think he and I could be amazing friends if he stopped looking so fucking irresistible to me.

I am working 12 to 14 hour days so I don't have a lot of time to dwell on this, but our relationship is all kinds of fucked up and confusing right now! We have moved passed the fucking and fighting and I am starting to feel a connection with him in a deeper way that I haven't felt with him in a very long time. We aren't going to jump back into a relationship because I still feel very strongly about the reasons we broke up. He needs his own life away from me. I am done being the guy that holds him back from fully experiencing everything that being in college has to offer.

Obviously Bradley and I have a strong connection and a deep bond. We started a relationship the summer before his freshmen year in college and despite all the craziness of him being a varsity athlete and me being a pseudo celebrity diva we spent the better part of 2 years making each other happy. I have no doubt that we could jump right back into our relationship and regard the last 4 months as indigestion, but I just don't ever want Bradley to look back and think, what if!?

I have had my chance to see the world and experience many different people. Why shouldn't Brad get the same chances I did?