Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Money on my mind

This last week I have been taking a break from everything so I could get a good grasp on my finances. I am not hurting for money right now, but before this week I had no idea how much I had or where it was. I basically go through life writing checks and using my debit card hoping there’s something in my accounts but never really sure if there is. Getting a handle on my finances is very important to me because I don’t have a job and finding prospects for future employment is almost as likely as me getting struck by lightning or finding affordable healthcare.

The first thing I realized as I was figuring out if I had a pot to piss in was that I have way to many god dam pots! I have 8 fucking bank accounts that I use regularly and 4 accounts that haven’t seen any activity in years. I hate money, I have no idea how to manage it, and even though I minored in mathematics, figuring out how much cash I had was impossible and I ended up having to call a professional to come help me out! Lucky for me one of my closest friends is an accountant and took some time out of her busy schedule to set me straight. After 9 days of me bitching and her lecturing me for keeping such crappy records, we figured out that I am doing a lot better than I should for being a clueless moron, but I need to learn how to budget if I want it to stay that way.

Shit was consolidated, shifted and other stuff, so my money would work for me or something. After it was all done my brain hurt and I had no idea how anybody was able to do this shit without somebody like my friend doing it for them! I have never had this kind of control over my finances because I have always equated money with greed and selfishness so I would prefer to think about money as some abstract idea rather than something tangible that needs to be managed and scrutinized over. I am not being greedy or selfish by worrying about what’s in my accounts, I am being responsible. Is this what it feels like being an adult?

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

The good times.

I was looking over my posts while I was in Europe and I realized that I never really got to post about my most awesome days there. So I thought I would take this time to talk about them a little bit because if I don’t I feel like my overall impression of my trip would be negative WHICH IT WASN’T! Even though I do in fact HATE FRANCE and I HATE WORKING, it really didn’t affect the rest of my trip which had a lot of amazing moments.

At the very beginning of my trip I took a rental car with a friend out to Stonehenge and it was probably one of the most heinous experiences of my life! I thought the day was unsalvageable, and then we decided to go to Bath. There I enjoyed a 9pc Chicken Mcnugget meal and my surly demeanor began to melt away, because nothing puts me in a better mood than some Chicken McNuggets! As we walked the streets of Bath we noticed there were a lot of street performers singing, dancing and just acting crazy in general. It was like being at the 3rd street promenade in Santa Monica only a whole lot bigger. As we were taking this all in we happened upon this ska-ish (but not really but it’s the easiest way to define them) band. They looked to be in their late teens early 20’s and I really dug their sound! So we stood and watched awhile. That’s when they started singing Estelle’s American Boy. Over the summer EVERYBODY knew I was going to the UK, so every chance they got they would play this song! I have the entire thing memorized by heart and here was a band playing it (and it was odd seeing a bunch of heterosexual boys singing “American boy” verbatim.) I casually mentioned to my friend that they were lacking somebody to do Kanye’s part and I really wanted to jump in! So my friend drops 10 pounds into their guitar case and asks the lead singer if I could rap for them, they agree, start the song over, and I do my very first gig as a street performer right there on a cobblestone road in Bath. By the end of the song we had a pretty decent sized crowd and we got some raucous applause when we were done. We ended up meeting with the guys later and having a few pints with them at a local pub and the day turned out to be a lot more awesome than it started!

Everything about Spain was just about my favorite part of my trip in every way possible! I got a little surfing in, I hung out with some amazing friends, I ate some good food, and I met some interesting people. Nothing really stood out because it was all just so much fun that when I think about it all I can do is smile and it’s all good! Everyday was fun and everyday was different but nothing really stuck out as exceptional because it was all just way better than average on a daily basis.

What guy in their right mind wouldn’t have the time of their life at Oktoberfest!? That week was FAN-FUCKING-TASTIC from beginning to end! There’s not a single moment that entire trip where I felt like the moment could be improved upon. However, the best time I had in Munich had absolutely NOTHING to do with Oktoberfest! The best time I had happened at the Eisbach which is a small stretch of the Isar! The first time I surfed this river wave was back in 03. I had completely forgotten what it felt like to be on a board and have no idea what I was doing, then BAM! The Eisbach happens and I feel like an 8 yr old grom all over again. This time around I had a little experience under my belt and I was ready to tackle this head on. Unfortunately there was a HUGE ASS line to get my chance to ride this wave and I had to wait awhile. The thing about Germans is they are probably some of the nicest most polite people on the planet. Anywhere else you would have the assholes trying to push their way up the lines to get a ride before other people or angry locals trying to bully the outsiders into leaving. Here civility is king, nobody’s acting like a territorial douche, and everyone just wants to share this awesome experience with everybody else. The only thing better than surfing this wave was watching the locals carve it up on these crazy weird fish twin-fin hybrids that I totally forgot to take a picture of! These guys are AMAZING and it’s such a unique experience that you can’t find anywhere else in the world. It was probably the best experience of my entire trip.

And now I am done talking about Europe! I am going to put all my memories in a box and stick it on a shelf to ameliorate for a few years and then go back and look at them again just because the experience was so awesome.

Monday, October 12, 2009

The Trifecta of Awesomeness

What is the trifecta of awesomeness? A weekend of Brad, Incubus and Glee silly! I am a strong believer that we are all given a finite number of perfect situations in our lives so when we are old and reminiscing about them, we can recall every moment.

I have said it before, but it’s worth repeating; Incubus is the greatest band of my generation. Their musicality is in a league all their own they are innovative without being pretentious and Brandon Boyd is one of the sexiest men I have ever had the pleasure of meeting outside my dreams. He’s also an amazing singer and crazy talented song writer so that altar I keep a lock of his hair on that’s surrounded by a buttload of memorabilia is totally justified! Anyway, what Incubus has to do with the trifecta of awesomeness is I saw them at the Surfrider Gala in LA Friday night. This is where I could tell a truly embarrassing and slightly horrific story, but I have decided against it and will instead move on. Let’s just say fun was had and we left smiling.

Saturday was all about Bradley’s 21st birthday and his family celebrating it BIG TIME! They were all very happy to see me and we spent hours catching up on everything I’d missed over the last several months. There was tons of food, extremely delicious and expensive micro-brews, great music, and some awesome party games. The festivities commenced just after 1pm and we partied well into the next day with our raucous shenanigans. After sobering up around midnight we all went for a late night surf by the pier for a while and then called it a night once we’d finished. This next part is going to sound WAY GAY, so just going to throw that out there as a warning… We’d carpooled with one of Brad’s older brothers so we got to sit in the back seat together on the way home. All we did was hold hands and occasionally glance over at each other and smile, I can’t remember feeling this content in a really long time. There’s no way to say this next part like a gentleman, so I’ll be crass. The second we got home we ripped off our clothes and fucked until the sun came up. It was magical.

Then today after waking up around 2pm to the smell of an awesome breakfast being prepared by my very own nearly naked and well muscled man, I was introduced to the awesomeness that is Glee. This show makes my heart smile. I think I replayed Kristin Chenoweth singing, “Maybe this time”, like 5 times in a row. I am not really a fan of the lead choir guy Finn, because that whole awkward cute and innocent thing never really did it for me, but Puck really gets me going and that dude’s fucking HAWT! The quality of this show is above and beyond what I expect from something produced on television and I am a HUGE fan of this show as of today (or I guess yesterday since it is technically after midnight now). We spent all of Sunday on the couch snuggling and just being with each other. We laughed, a lot. We talked about nothing and we just stayed there, together, in silence, it was perfect.

Thursday, October 08, 2009

He's finally legal!

Brad’s 21st birthday party was last night and I have the hangover to prove it! I know age really isn’t anything but a number, but I finally feel like I am not robbing the cradle anymore. We went out drinking and he didn’t have to pull out his fake ID, and I didn’t have to deal with that tiny feeling of guilt for contributing to the delinquency of a minor. It was Fan-FUCKING-tastic to sit there and share a drink with my boy legally!

There’s a family dinner this weekend to make this whole birthday thing official and Brad really wants me to come. If I go then we’re really together again. Which I guess doesn’t even matter because if I am really honest with myself we were never really broken up. Still I always get tangled up in these labels and that’s exactly what I am doing here. WHATEVER! It is what it is and I am just going to deal with it like a grownup.

I am going to stay here through the weekend and then I need to find a place to live. I really hate looking for a place! All my stuff is currently at the Tyler’s back in my old room BUT I am WAY too old to be living at home with my kinda sorta parents! So the house hunt will begin IMMEDIATELY! Some of my friends are trying to pressure me into moving to the Santa Monica, but I’d rather shoot myself! I am thinking Long Beach/Seal Beach area would be perfect for me. All I know is I am definitely going to be walking distance from the ocean!

Monday, October 05, 2009

A good result

It was a simple plan. Go to the team picnic and be Bradley’s boyfriend. No big declaration of any sort, just show up and be us. That’s Brad’s style all the way, and I really admire him for it. Before we left for the event I was pretty nervous about how people were going to react. I get extremely protective over my man and if anybody acted negative towards him there was a huge chance I’d be forced to kick their ass. Especially because I am still so drained from my trip that I just wouldn’t have the energy to curb my emotions. Just before we walked out the door Brad took my arm and turned me to face him. He looked into my eyes and he told me that he was so grateful I came because he needed me and he wouldn’t be able to do this without me. There was so much emotion both in his voice and in his eyes that I almost cried, cuz I am a bitch like that.

We got to the beach and I put my game face on ready to be Mr. Awesome and the life of the party before Bradley and I started gaying things up with all our gayness. I was introduced to all the guys and their lady friends, and then we settled into a rowdy game of ultimate. After an hour or so, we were all pretty chummy and getting hungry for some food. The burgers and hotdogs were grilled and then we settled down around the fire, cue the gayness. My “Babe, can you grab me a soda” got a couple of raised eyebrows, but I think it was the kiss on the lips as a thank you that really sealed the deal. I could tell these guys were surprised, but nobody really acted like an ass or anything and things went on with only marginal awkwardness.

Everybody had a million questions and I could totally see it on their faces, but nobody wanted to be the prick who asked, so everybody just pretended that things were normal. FINALLY one of the guys made the decision to point out the big ol’ gay elephant by asking Brad how long we’ve been “together”. That kind of opened the floodgates to a 15 minute Q&A session for Brad and I getting all sorts of questions thrown at us. They were genuinely curious and by the end of the evening I was cautiously optimistic (The real shit talking and negativity isn’t going to start until they’ve all had a chance to let it sink in and then have a chance to talk about it behind Brad’s back) that things were going to work out fairly well for Bradley.

They had an informal practice this morning and from all accounts Brad thinks yesterday’s bombshell hasn’t left any damage on his reputation. Good team cohesion and communication during the scrimmages, same amount of locker room nakedness, and guys not treating him like a leper. I am really happy for him. I still think it’s a little early to be completely out of the woods with this issue. But for now this was a very positive experience for both Brad and myself and I am honored and humbled he chose me to be a part of this.

Saturday, October 03, 2009

Starting over.

As I have shared a few times, Bradley and I have been spending a lot of time talking on the phone. We did it all summer long, and just cuz I went to a different continent didn’t mean we stopped talking. In fact , I can’t think of a single day this entire trip that I didn’t take at least 20 minutes to call Brad. He’s at a new school this year because he wanted to be closer to his family after what happened to his sister earlier this year. He’s been dealing with a lot getting acclimated with a new school, and a new team.

As a gay athlete there’s a lot of pressure to fit in with the guys but at the same time be respected for who you are as a man. It’s always a HUGE struggle trying to figure out if and how you are going to come out to your teammates. Brad has been struggling with the if, how, and when, since summer training back in July. Unfortunately being in this new situation really ate up his confidence and he really didn’t have the desire to add another hurdle to his ever growing list of complications fucking up his life. The problem is this isn’t Bradley! He’s not the kind of guy who can compartmentalize his life and be satisfied by his choices. For Brad it’s always been all or nothing, and so 2 weeks ago he finally came to the decision that he was going to make one BIG GRAND FUCKING statement about his sexuality and just move the fuck on. Cue RGB!

Bradley: Sup Babe?
RGB: Nada Mucho. You?
Bradley: I have this team picnic thing and I was wondering if you’d be my date…
RGB: You serious?
Bradley: You don’t have to if you don’t want to… I just wanted you there when I told them…
RGB: What are you talking about!? Of course I want to be there with you! Sorry you just caught me off guard but I REALLY REALLY REALLY do want to go with you to your picnic!
Bradley: (Mockingly) Really?
RGB: Yeah REALLY you fucking asshole!

Yesterday when I landed Brad was waiting for me at the luggage carousel. When I saw him I ran straight for him, jumped right into his arms, and wrapped my arms and legs around his upper body. I couldn’t believe that it had been 4 months since the last time I saw him. I missed EVERYTING about him! His smell, his skin, his body, his voice, his hot breath on my neck as I hugged him GOD how did I ever go a second without this man!? After about 5 minutes of making everybody in the airport extremely uncomfortable with our PDA (and seriously I don’t know what got into me because I FUCKING HATE PDA myself! I don’t even like to hold hands in public when I am with a girl because I just hate public affection!) we grabbed my luggage off the conveyor belt and then we GTFO’d.

I am not going to lie, over the last 24 hours, some sex has been had. Even with this mean case of jetlag and crazy German hangover, my penis REFUSES to take a break! Now it’s sometime past midnight and Bradley is out cold, but I can’t even close my eyes for a minute straight because I am still stuck on European time! I am not entirely sure what the plan is for tomorrow’s picnic outing (ha! See what I did there!? OUTING!? Get it!? OUTING!?), but if anybody is mean to Bradley, they are going to have to deal with me. But I am positive everything is going to be fine. Brad has always gotten a lot of respect from everybody around him because he’s the kind of man that deserves respect. Brad’s a strong guy and he only thinks that he needs me here, but really he could do this on his own and be amazing.