ROAD BLOCK!!

I left work early on Friday when my stepdad gave me a call to ask if I could pick my brother up from school because he'd just been suspended for fighting! Long story short, a senior called him a fag, so my brother beat the shit out of him right there on the spot. To me it sounded like the other kid got what he deserved and neither of them should have been suspended because the problem took care of itself. Unfortunately the school has a zero tolerance policy when it comes to campus violence though, so my brother got suspended until after the holiday weekend.

My stepdad was on a business trip on the east coast until Monday and I had a HUGE party weekend planned for me big TWO-FOUR!. I was planning on getting my bro from home afterwork and we were going to drive up north go grab Brad and then keep going north to the beach house where Tyler was getting things ready. But now I had to make a decision; was I going to pretend like I was disappointed in my brother for not letting some loser punk him, or was I going to high five him and let him have a couple beers with me at my many parties over the weekend? I got to his school and I couldn't even fake anger or even minor annoyance. The way I saw it, the next kid was going to think twice before trying to pick on my brother after this!

Unfortunately the vice principal didn't share my opinion and wanted to talk with me privately in her office before she let me take my brother home. She basically wanted me to make sure that my brother knew this was unacceptable behavior no matter what the antecedent to the fight was, and if this ever happens again my brother is going to be permanently expelled from school. Then she got all funny on me recounting my many indiscretions as a student at this school and how she could tell we are brothers. She was joking, but I got the message behind her story and I decided that my brother and I did need to have a talk about this after all! FUCKING vice principals and there crazy ass elephant memories! I couldn't even remember her name and she remembered every little thing I did wrong the entire time I went to that school.

Basically what she was telling me, in an indirect way, so I would actually listen to what she was saying (once again because she remembered me and the kind of person I am), was that my brother wasn't exactly the victim in this scenario because he isn't the kind of kid that gets picked on. He's smart, funny, handsome and extremely well liked by just about everybody because of his all around charming personality (just like his big brother). Unfortunately this makes him a little bit of an asshole to some of the other kids on the playground, just like his big brother... Yeah that kid called my brother a fag, but my brother probably did something to get a rise out of him in the first place, so I probably wasn't going to be able to slip my brother a beer over the weekend and congratulate him for beating up a homophobe.

In the end I just thought to myself, "Fuck it! I can't tell him to be nice to people he doesn't like, this is one of those things he needs to learn on his own through living his life and taking some time to reflect on the things he's done. Besides, I am not his father I am his brother! AND it's my birthday weekend!". So we drove up north to Brad's house and talked a little bit about life and such. He admitted he'd been picking on the kid and that maybe this was all his fault, but he also threw in how NOBODY called him a fag he didn't care what the reason behind it was. I couldn't argue with that, so I just asked him to try and be a bit nicer.

The weekend was CRAZY! Nobody throws a party like TYLER! I am going to be recovering from this weekend for the rest of the month. Lucky me I have an extra long holiday weekend to nurse myself back to health.

some reflection

I have been feeling inadequate for quite some time now. This is to be expected because it always happens to me when I get a lot of time on my hands and I have absolutely nothing going on. I have way too much time to think about all those opportunities I rejected, and all that time I spent going down the wrong path. I start thinking about where I could be or where I SHOULD be, and then I compare it to where I am; then of course the feeling of inadequacy sets in and I am done. There's nothing more crushing than the burden of all that goddamn potential!

Usually when things get as stagnant as they have been, I meet up with a bunch of skaters and we shoot some footage that I edit and sell to different skater sites, or I head off to NYC for a month or two and take some time to figure out my next step. But this time the skating didn't really pan out and NYC wasn't an option (don't even get me started on the waves that have been as flat as a 10 yr old girl), and all this was only further exacerbated by that awful cuntrag I ran into at the beach a few weeks ago who informed me of my impending 10 year high school reunion, NOT TO MENTION my 24th birthday. And it all just became way too much for me to even deal with! I needed some kind of escape, a way to make myself feel like I was contributing something "grown-up", a way to make myself feel like I haven't just spent the last 10 years of my life with my thumb up my ass!

So when Mr. Tyler asked me to come to work for him I jumped at the chance to prove to myself that I could actually do it. I think I needed to see if I could actually succeed or if all my excuses were just a defense mechanism because deep down I knew that if I really tried I would fail. I got off to an extremely rocky start. That first week I was a mess and my team saw it, so I didn't really get the respect I was shooting for. But it was okay because I hadn't actually earned it yet. I spent all weekend getting organized and creating an outline that went into detail on what I expected from each person on my team, and on Monday I sat them all down in the conference room and I explained to them WITH CONFIDENCE exactly how I expect MY team to function. There was no room for arguments, and though they tried, I made the decision to make this work and there's no way in hell I am going to throw in the towel this early in the game.

Last week I was freaking out because I was sure I wasn't capable of taking this challenge. I wore my fear on my sleeve and everybody saw it. It took a couple of friends basically beating some sense into me to realize that I was fucking up big time and being extremely self destructive. I can't say that I am going to get through the next 5 months without having another freak out or ten, but I do know that next time I am not going to be so public about it and only freak out in my head. At least I don't have to wear a suit to work there's something about a tie that feels a little too much like a noose...

REDRUM!

Day three and I am still here so, yay me! I took an extra half hour for lunch today and I went to a skatepark hoping that some physical activity would save me from punching somebody in the face during our development meetings. I didn't punch anybody so DOUBLE YAY! Although there was this one moment during the meeting where this ass hole with a receding hairline wouldn't stop challenging every word that came out of my mouth! I couldn't just tell him to shut up, so I had to call a break, and used that down time so I could kindly but firmly let him know where he could shove it in private. By the end of the day I had wrangled that facetious prick with the receding hairline into submission and in a small way it felt like a BIG victory. It turns out they passed him up for a promotion and that's why he's being a little bitch about this. Everybody now thinks I am an asshole but if that's what it takes then I am fine with it. I don't actually want to be friends with any of them anyway. I am now going to go and smoke a joint then cry myself to sleep because tomorrow I have to get up and do this all over again.

the grind

I have been struggling with trying to figure out how I fit into my life since coming home from Europe. I have absolutely no direction or drive to do anything! I spend my days watching TV, surfing shitty waves and playing with my dog, all the while slowly going crazy from boredom and a life of mediocrity. Wasn't I supposed to be the guy meant for something special? Wasn't I going to grow up with my face on the cover of magazines? What the fuck am I supposed to do now!?

I went to college to become an engineer. I traveled the world to become a better surfer. I accomplished both but really didn't find happiness or fulfillment in either. Out of boredom I have taken on a huge programming project that will eventually take up every waking moment of my life, just so I can stop thinking about how much of a failure I am. Today was my first day and I spent the majority of it refamiliarizing myself with the project because I was the guy who created the original program 4 years ago. Since then, it's gone through quite a few changes and tweaks from other professionals but now its time for a complete overhaul and the honor of this metamorphosis goes to yours truly.

At first it worried me that something this HUGE and important would be entrusted to me. But then I thought about how much more impressive I look on paper (Ivy League graduate, internship at one of the top corporations in the world, multiple awards and commendations for a plethora of programming challenges and events, etc), than the reality of ACTUAL me ACTUALLY is, and I was somewhat comforted. After I met all the people who were going to be working for me and was immediately relieved to discover they were all a million times more competent than I am! I spent most of my day getting to know my team and learning a little about each of them and what they brought to the table. I usually get pretty insecure when you put me in a room with a bunch of programmers because I am pretty atypical when it comes to your standard computer guy; i.e. I don't know how to play Dungeons & Dragons, I don't have a WoW account, I never held a Magic card, and I have had sex within the last week with somebody I didn't meet on the internet.

There's usually this HUGE disconnect when I meet other programmers and I am willing to admit that I am largely to blame for this. It would be a completely fair statement to say that I am the Elle Woods of the computer world. I stick out like a sore thumb and not in a good way! I am not a huge fan of using technical jargon when it comes to explaining myself and people initially misconstrue that as stupidity, which I completely understand! Also when I talk, with no exaggeration, I sound EXACTLY like Keanu Reeves so that's 20 strikes against me alone. So today as I was getting to know my team I got that same trepidation from them I ALWAYS get when meeting new people because they think I am in idiot.

Balding 30yr. old Man: How old are you!? (more as an accusation than a question)
RGB: I am 23, but I am almost 24...

I bring this on myself by not outwardly exuding the confidence I need to show in order for them to believe in my leadership. I am working on it! What I should have said to the fucker was, " I am 23. I graduated high school at 15 and university at 20. I could have finished in 2 years since I started University as a second semester sophomore, but I was too busy being a pro surfer and fucking my way through 5 continents and more countries than I can count." Fuck it! Tomorrow's a new day. If I have to pull out my cock and beat them with it to assert myself, I WILL! It just sucks working so hard to be good at a job I hate just because I can't figure out what it is that I really want to do with myself. Is this what it means to be a grown up?

The Cycle

There are certain people from your life, more specifically your past, which you hope never to interact with again. You grow complacent with the fact that it has been quite some time since your last encounter. Then the Universe gets bored and decides that it would be fun to mix things up. And then you run into said person while playing with your dog at the dog beach while any other NORMAL person would be at work like a good respectable adult should be. And you avoid her for as long as you can only to have her come barreling down the beach right towards you. And now there is no escape; you are trapped in dithering conversation with this awful cunt rag, so vacuous and annoying that you are actually considering faking a seizure. At one point, you think she might invite you to have lunch with her. You start bargaining things you probably shouldn’t, like your soul or first born, in exchange for being transported anywhere else. You realize she is still talking and begin to make list of things that are more fun than engaging in this conversation: licking a frozen telephone pole; attending a human sacrifice; watching paint dry; sitting through an episode of The Hills. Finally, after the 20 minutes that seemed to last an eternity, she slowly begins to meander towards the ocean where the water breaks without so much as a goodbye. And with that, the terrifying experience is over as suddenly as it started. So you vow never to be caught unaware again. But then, of course, you spot your dog chasing seagulls and its really adorable, so much so you forget to watch out for questionable people, and the whole unseemly cycle begins anew.

Money on my mind

This last week I have been taking a break from everything so I could get a good grasp on my finances. I am not hurting for money right now, but before this week I had no idea how much I had or where it was. I basically go through life writing checks and using my debit card hoping there’s something in my accounts but never really sure if there is. Getting a handle on my finances is very important to me because I don’t have a job and finding prospects for future employment is almost as likely as me getting struck by lightning or finding affordable healthcare.

The first thing I realized as I was figuring out if I had a pot to piss in was that I have way to many god dam pots! I have 8 fucking bank accounts that I use regularly and 4 accounts that haven’t seen any activity in years. I hate money, I have no idea how to manage it, and even though I minored in mathematics, figuring out how much cash I had was impossible and I ended up having to call a professional to come help me out! Lucky for me one of my closest friends is an accountant and took some time out of her busy schedule to set me straight. After 9 days of me bitching and her lecturing me for keeping such crappy records, we figured out that I am doing a lot better than I should for being a clueless moron, but I need to learn how to budget if I want it to stay that way.

Shit was consolidated, shifted and other stuff, so my money would work for me or something. After it was all done my brain hurt and I had no idea how anybody was able to do this shit without somebody like my friend doing it for them! I have never had this kind of control over my finances because I have always equated money with greed and selfishness so I would prefer to think about money as some abstract idea rather than something tangible that needs to be managed and scrutinized over. I am not being greedy or selfish by worrying about what’s in my accounts, I am being responsible. Is this what it feels like being an adult?

The good times.

I was looking over my posts while I was in Europe and I realized that I never really got to post about my most awesome days there. So I thought I would take this time to talk about them a little bit because if I don’t I feel like my overall impression of my trip would be negative WHICH IT WASN’T! Even though I do in fact HATE FRANCE and I HATE WORKING, it really didn’t affect the rest of my trip which had a lot of amazing moments.

At the very beginning of my trip I took a rental car with a friend out to Stonehenge and it was probably one of the most heinous experiences of my life! I thought the day was unsalvageable, and then we decided to go to Bath. There I enjoyed a 9pc Chicken Mcnugget meal and my surly demeanor began to melt away, because nothing puts me in a better mood than some Chicken McNuggets! As we walked the streets of Bath we noticed there were a lot of street performers singing, dancing and just acting crazy in general. It was like being at the 3rd street promenade in Santa Monica only a whole lot bigger. As we were taking this all in we happened upon this ska-ish (but not really but it’s the easiest way to define them) band. They looked to be in their late teens early 20’s and I really dug their sound! So we stood and watched awhile. That’s when they started singing Estelle’s American Boy. Over the summer EVERYBODY knew I was going to the UK, so every chance they got they would play this song! I have the entire thing memorized by heart and here was a band playing it (and it was odd seeing a bunch of heterosexual boys singing “American boy” verbatim.) I casually mentioned to my friend that they were lacking somebody to do Kanye’s part and I really wanted to jump in! So my friend drops 10 pounds into their guitar case and asks the lead singer if I could rap for them, they agree, start the song over, and I do my very first gig as a street performer right there on a cobblestone road in Bath. By the end of the song we had a pretty decent sized crowd and we got some raucous applause when we were done. We ended up meeting with the guys later and having a few pints with them at a local pub and the day turned out to be a lot more awesome than it started!

Everything about Spain was just about my favorite part of my trip in every way possible! I got a little surfing in, I hung out with some amazing friends, I ate some good food, and I met some interesting people. Nothing really stood out because it was all just so much fun that when I think about it all I can do is smile and it’s all good! Everyday was fun and everyday was different but nothing really stuck out as exceptional because it was all just way better than average on a daily basis.

What guy in their right mind wouldn’t have the time of their life at Oktoberfest!? That week was FAN-FUCKING-TASTIC from beginning to end! There’s not a single moment that entire trip where I felt like the moment could be improved upon. However, the best time I had in Munich had absolutely NOTHING to do with Oktoberfest! The best time I had happened at the Eisbach which is a small stretch of the Isar! The first time I surfed this river wave was back in 03. I had completely forgotten what it felt like to be on a board and have no idea what I was doing, then BAM! The Eisbach happens and I feel like an 8 yr old grom all over again. This time around I had a little experience under my belt and I was ready to tackle this head on. Unfortunately there was a HUGE ASS line to get my chance to ride this wave and I had to wait awhile. The thing about Germans is they are probably some of the nicest most polite people on the planet. Anywhere else you would have the assholes trying to push their way up the lines to get a ride before other people or angry locals trying to bully the outsiders into leaving. Here civility is king, nobody’s acting like a territorial douche, and everyone just wants to share this awesome experience with everybody else. The only thing better than surfing this wave was watching the locals carve it up on these crazy weird fish twin-fin hybrids that I totally forgot to take a picture of! These guys are AMAZING and it’s such a unique experience that you can’t find anywhere else in the world. It was probably the best experience of my entire trip.

And now I am done talking about Europe! I am going to put all my memories in a box and stick it on a shelf to ameliorate for a few years and then go back and look at them again just because the experience was so awesome.

The Trifecta of Awesomeness

What is the trifecta of awesomeness? A weekend of Brad, Incubus and Glee silly! I am a strong believer that we are all given a finite number of perfect situations in our lives so when we are old and reminiscing about them, we can recall every moment.

I have said it before, but it’s worth repeating; Incubus is the greatest band of my generation. Their musicality is in a league all their own they are innovative without being pretentious and Brandon Boyd is one of the sexiest men I have ever had the pleasure of meeting outside my dreams. He’s also an amazing singer and crazy talented song writer so that altar I keep a lock of his hair on that’s surrounded by a buttload of memorabilia is totally justified! Anyway, what Incubus has to do with the trifecta of awesomeness is I saw them at the Surfrider Gala in LA Friday night. This is where I could tell a truly embarrassing and slightly horrific story, but I have decided against it and will instead move on. Let’s just say fun was had and we left smiling.

Saturday was all about Bradley’s 21st birthday and his family celebrating it BIG TIME! They were all very happy to see me and we spent hours catching up on everything I’d missed over the last several months. There was tons of food, extremely delicious and expensive micro-brews, great music, and some awesome party games. The festivities commenced just after 1pm and we partied well into the next day with our raucous shenanigans. After sobering up around midnight we all went for a late night surf by the pier for a while and then called it a night once we’d finished. This next part is going to sound WAY GAY, so just going to throw that out there as a warning… We’d carpooled with one of Brad’s older brothers so we got to sit in the back seat together on the way home. All we did was hold hands and occasionally glance over at each other and smile, I can’t remember feeling this content in a really long time. There’s no way to say this next part like a gentleman, so I’ll be crass. The second we got home we ripped off our clothes and fucked until the sun came up. It was magical.

Then today after waking up around 2pm to the smell of an awesome breakfast being prepared by my very own nearly naked and well muscled man, I was introduced to the awesomeness that is Glee. This show makes my heart smile. I think I replayed Kristin Chenoweth singing, “Maybe this time”, like 5 times in a row. I am not really a fan of the lead choir guy Finn, because that whole awkward cute and innocent thing never really did it for me, but Puck really gets me going and that dude’s fucking HAWT! The quality of this show is above and beyond what I expect from something produced on television and I am a HUGE fan of this show as of today (or I guess yesterday since it is technically after midnight now). We spent all of Sunday on the couch snuggling and just being with each other. We laughed, a lot. We talked about nothing and we just stayed there, together, in silence, it was perfect.

He's finally legal!

Brad’s 21st birthday party was last night and I have the hangover to prove it! I know age really isn’t anything but a number, but I finally feel like I am not robbing the cradle anymore. We went out drinking and he didn’t have to pull out his fake ID, and I didn’t have to deal with that tiny feeling of guilt for contributing to the delinquency of a minor. It was Fan-FUCKING-tastic to sit there and share a drink with my boy legally!

There’s a family dinner this weekend to make this whole birthday thing official and Brad really wants me to come. If I go then we’re really together again. Which I guess doesn’t even matter because if I am really honest with myself we were never really broken up. Still I always get tangled up in these labels and that’s exactly what I am doing here. WHATEVER! It is what it is and I am just going to deal with it like a grownup.

I am going to stay here through the weekend and then I need to find a place to live. I really hate looking for a place! All my stuff is currently at the Tyler’s back in my old room BUT I am WAY too old to be living at home with my kinda sorta parents! So the house hunt will begin IMMEDIATELY! Some of my friends are trying to pressure me into moving to the Santa Monica, but I’d rather shoot myself! I am thinking Long Beach/Seal Beach area would be perfect for me. All I know is I am definitely going to be walking distance from the ocean!

A good result

It was a simple plan. Go to the team picnic and be Bradley’s boyfriend. No big declaration of any sort, just show up and be us. That’s Brad’s style all the way, and I really admire him for it. Before we left for the event I was pretty nervous about how people were going to react. I get extremely protective over my man and if anybody acted negative towards him there was a huge chance I’d be forced to kick their ass. Especially because I am still so drained from my trip that I just wouldn’t have the energy to curb my emotions. Just before we walked out the door Brad took my arm and turned me to face him. He looked into my eyes and he told me that he was so grateful I came because he needed me and he wouldn’t be able to do this without me. There was so much emotion both in his voice and in his eyes that I almost cried, cuz I am a bitch like that.

We got to the beach and I put my game face on ready to be Mr. Awesome and the life of the party before Bradley and I started gaying things up with all our gayness. I was introduced to all the guys and their lady friends, and then we settled into a rowdy game of ultimate. After an hour or so, we were all pretty chummy and getting hungry for some food. The burgers and hotdogs were grilled and then we settled down around the fire, cue the gayness. My “Babe, can you grab me a soda” got a couple of raised eyebrows, but I think it was the kiss on the lips as a thank you that really sealed the deal. I could tell these guys were surprised, but nobody really acted like an ass or anything and things went on with only marginal awkwardness.

Everybody had a million questions and I could totally see it on their faces, but nobody wanted to be the prick who asked, so everybody just pretended that things were normal. FINALLY one of the guys made the decision to point out the big ol’ gay elephant by asking Brad how long we’ve been “together”. That kind of opened the floodgates to a 15 minute Q&A session for Brad and I getting all sorts of questions thrown at us. They were genuinely curious and by the end of the evening I was cautiously optimistic (The real shit talking and negativity isn’t going to start until they’ve all had a chance to let it sink in and then have a chance to talk about it behind Brad’s back) that things were going to work out fairly well for Bradley.

They had an informal practice this morning and from all accounts Brad thinks yesterday’s bombshell hasn’t left any damage on his reputation. Good team cohesion and communication during the scrimmages, same amount of locker room nakedness, and guys not treating him like a leper. I am really happy for him. I still think it’s a little early to be completely out of the woods with this issue. But for now this was a very positive experience for both Brad and myself and I am honored and humbled he chose me to be a part of this.

Starting over.

As I have shared a few times, Bradley and I have been spending a lot of time talking on the phone. We did it all summer long, and just cuz I went to a different continent didn’t mean we stopped talking. In fact , I can’t think of a single day this entire trip that I didn’t take at least 20 minutes to call Brad. He’s at a new school this year because he wanted to be closer to his family after what happened to his sister earlier this year. He’s been dealing with a lot getting acclimated with a new school, and a new team.

As a gay athlete there’s a lot of pressure to fit in with the guys but at the same time be respected for who you are as a man. It’s always a HUGE struggle trying to figure out if and how you are going to come out to your teammates. Brad has been struggling with the if, how, and when, since summer training back in July. Unfortunately being in this new situation really ate up his confidence and he really didn’t have the desire to add another hurdle to his ever growing list of complications fucking up his life. The problem is this isn’t Bradley! He’s not the kind of guy who can compartmentalize his life and be satisfied by his choices. For Brad it’s always been all or nothing, and so 2 weeks ago he finally came to the decision that he was going to make one BIG GRAND FUCKING statement about his sexuality and just move the fuck on. Cue RGB!

Bradley: Sup Babe?
RGB: Nada Mucho. You?
Bradley: I have this team picnic thing and I was wondering if you’d be my date…
RGB: You serious?
Bradley: You don’t have to if you don’t want to… I just wanted you there when I told them…
RGB: What are you talking about!? Of course I want to be there with you! Sorry you just caught me off guard but I REALLY REALLY REALLY do want to go with you to your picnic!
Bradley: (Mockingly) Really?
RGB: Yeah REALLY you fucking asshole!

Yesterday when I landed Brad was waiting for me at the luggage carousel. When I saw him I ran straight for him, jumped right into his arms, and wrapped my arms and legs around his upper body. I couldn’t believe that it had been 4 months since the last time I saw him. I missed EVERYTING about him! His smell, his skin, his body, his voice, his hot breath on my neck as I hugged him GOD how did I ever go a second without this man!? After about 5 minutes of making everybody in the airport extremely uncomfortable with our PDA (and seriously I don’t know what got into me because I FUCKING HATE PDA myself! I don’t even like to hold hands in public when I am with a girl because I just hate public affection!) we grabbed my luggage off the conveyor belt and then we GTFO’d.

I am not going to lie, over the last 24 hours, some sex has been had. Even with this mean case of jetlag and crazy German hangover, my penis REFUSES to take a break! Now it’s sometime past midnight and Bradley is out cold, but I can’t even close my eyes for a minute straight because I am still stuck on European time! I am not entirely sure what the plan is for tomorrow’s picnic outing (ha! See what I did there!? OUTING!? Get it!? OUTING!?), but if anybody is mean to Bradley, they are going to have to deal with me. But I am positive everything is going to be fine. Brad has always gotten a lot of respect from everybody around him because he’s the kind of man that deserves respect. Brad’s a strong guy and he only thinks that he needs me here, but really he could do this on his own and be amazing.

Back to my vacation

Okay it wasn’t the end of the world disaster I thought it was going to be. There may have even been a few occasions where I might have actually smiled and enjoyed myself. Not to say that I haven’t had to deal with a butt load of headaches and drama from the very beginning, but most of it is what’s to be expected when you take on a project so late in the game. And it was kind of exhilarating to push myself and the people around me to get the best out of the project.

My first hurdle was dealing with the crazy time constraints. The way a shoot usually works is the director sits down with the skaters and they view footage of all the spots the scouts found and choose the ones they want to skate. Then they head out to the locations and practice some things, get the lay of the land, and shoot some b-reel for outtakes or credits. Once they are satisfied they take a day or two to let it all ameliorate then they all go back and do it for-realsies! We basically had to do all that junk in 2 day intervals and at the end of that second day pack up and start it all over in a new city. My second hurdle was my French camera crew. They all spoke piss poor English and I refuse to learn French. However one guy was fluent in Spanish and the other spoke German as well as I did, so we all became a fucking cultural amalgam of languages and exasperated gesticulations.

Anyway, we finished shooting almost a week ago and I have been stuck in post editing all this crap into something awesome. I have done all I can or will do at this point and am returning to my vacation. I am in Munich waiting for my friends from Spain to arrive for Oktoberfest. Side note: German guys are hot! I am sure this goes without saying, but I am going to be incommunicado until sometime in October after I have had a decent amount of time to recover.

More France!

A few weeks ago when I first arrived in Europe it was FUCKING cold! Like New York in November cold! I hadn’t packed for cold weather because I was under the impression that it was supposed to be relatively warm in Western Europe this time of year. We all know that I am allergic to shopping and would rather get a tooth pulled then go shopping so I did what any sane person in my situation would do. I called my friend\agent and had him pull some strings and get me some warm clothes ASAP. Long story short, I got brand new winter gear the next day never considering the strings that might have been attached to such a favor.

I arrived in Spain to great weather and awesome people that I haven’t seen in years. We hung out, drank, and partied until we passed out where we stood daily. On the 3rd day of my hedonistic adventures I received a call from my ex-friend\agent calling in the favor that I owed him. Fucking hell! If I’d known that a couple of jackets and hoodies and a few pairs of pants were going to cost me 6 more days in France I’d have told him to fuck off! Hind sight is always 20\20 isn’t it!? You better believe I am making the company spend well over their budget to put me up in fancy hotels and shipping all my private equipment from the states.

So now I am miserable and working during my vacation in FUCKING France! I am still a little fuzzy on what the overall objective is but I do know the itinerary; first Paris, then Marseilles, and then we are finishing up in Cannes. This shit is going to suck. I feel like such a ridiculous spoiled brat complaining about losing 6 days from my 5 week vacation across an entire continent, but I can’t help the way I feel! I really needed this time to rest, reflect, and recover, but now I have this whole THING to deal with.

I guess if I am truly honest with myself, the thing that bugs me more than anything else is even if I hadn’t called in that favor, I would have been asked to do this anyway and theirs a huge chance I still would have done it. It makes me wonder what my integrity and self respect is actually worth to me if I am going to keep on caving in like this every time I am asked. I did say I was done with all this shit, but it never really seems to work out that way. In the end I always come back because it’s what is easy and I am really good at it. I seriously need to go back to University and learn some new skills because I am starting to get sick of hating myself for all this hypocrisy all the time.

Actually i am just venting and this is all just me being ridiculous. It should all be disregarded as me being a crazy bipolar freak in serious need of meds.It doesn't matter, I'll probably get hit by a car anyway.

Closed on Tuesdays...

I am not realy a big fan of France in general, so whenever I come to Paris I want to get in and out as quickly as possible. I speak 4 languages, have been to 5 continents and over 20 countries; so I feel quite confident in my opinion that France is my least favorite place in the world. My traveling buddy really wanted to see all the major tourist shit ie: The Eiffel Tower, The Louvre, etc. We decided on a bus tour to catch all the odds and ends and then left Tuesday open for going to the Louvre so we could spend the ENTIRE day wandering the museum without any time constraints. For all the things I DO NOT enjoy in Paris, the Louvre is definitely not one of them.

Who knew the Louvre was closed on Tuesdays? I certainly didn’t! I stood there staring at that god awful closed sign feeling COMPLETELY defeated with the knowledge that I had to spend yet another day in this god forsaken city! I seriously felt like somebody had just punched me in the face and I wasn’t able to do anything to hide it. Seeing that I needed some serious cheering up my buddy called a guy who knew a guy and ended up turning my frown upside down with a little afternoon sesh of shredding the gnar urban jungle style!

I have been to quite a few skate parks in Paris and they mostly all suck ass! I dunno who’s fault this is, but its true and the truth hurts so back off all you French apologists! ANYWHOW, back to my point, this skate park rocked my socks. It was perfectly planned out and executed for a ride that was both challenging and fun. I had my Sector 9 with me which really just added to the whole hang 10 mood I was trying to get into to calm my nerves. Eventually the Louvre being closed turned into this happy accident that I was really pleased with. But I would just like to make it clear that I still have a very strong disdain for all things French!

I am currently waiting to get on an overnight train to Barcelona. Spain! Now that’s a country I can definitely endorse! I am all kinds of excited for my week there because Spain is just fun.