Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Morning Movie


Surfing artist stays home with his family so he can help take care of them. While all of his friends go on and live their lives, he stays home stagnant. One day an older guy from his past comes home and before our surfing artist knows it, he’s letting a part of himself out that he never really thought he would.

I don’t want to watch a movie where the synopsis could basically sum up the first 5 months of my blog! It’s fucking creepy isn’t it!? And just in case you guys are wondering, I am narcissistic enough to believe that this movie is about me. EVERY time I watch, The Truman Show, I walk around paranoid for the rest of the day thinking that everybody is watching me.

Bradley and I curled up on the couch this morning and watched, Shelter. I was extremely reluctant to watch it for a lot of reasons (besides the one I talked about above). A few others being: It was shot in San Pedro (I was born and raised on that Peninsula and I hate how wildly inaccurate movies always are when shooting there), it’s a surfing movie (besides, Point Break, scripted surfing movies are AWFUL!), and it was a gay movie (gay movies are always so goddamn cheesy and over the top and full of awful clich├ęs!).

Despite all of its awfulness (and myself) I actually enjoyed the movie. I do have a few bones to pick though! First off, almost all the surfing shots weren’t filmed in the area. Also, I noticed this one scene where the characters were all the way the hell in Malibu, like Point Dume area! Does anybody have any idea how FAR Malibu is from Pedro!? I didn’t buy that they drove all the way the fuck to Point Dume to build a fucking sand castle for a second.

There was one scene in particular that really got to me. Surfer/artist guy is visited by his best friend, this uber-pussy hound with a foul mouth, and the only thing he’s even remotely upset about is that his friend hadn’t told him he was gay sooner. It reminded me of Tyler and I so much that I swear I almost shed a tear. More than the ridiculously perfect boyfriend, or the sister who just didn’t give a shit about her son or her brother, and more than the retarded art school side-story, that scene with his best friend totally tugged at my heart strings because it was soo real to me.

Well it’s time for me to start packing. Bradley and I are leaving for Maui tomorrow afternoon. We haven’t stayed in a house alone in FOREVER! We are going to have the kind of sex that’s so loud the neighbors call the cops because they think somebody’s getting murdered.

Monday, May 26, 2008

About Yesterday...


Yesterday sucked just as much as I thought it would. Everybody was hounding me to go over and talk to my dad. He looked extremely miserable and in my weaker moments I was actually tempted to go over to him to say hi, BUT I DIDN’T! Honestly I could easily forgive him and get right back to where we were right before our fight no problem. The thing is, nothing’s changed. So eventually we will get to the point where once again it’s going to be that very same argument and I am going to be left feeling like shit! NO THANKS!

So I smiled big and I joked around with all the aunts, the uncles, and the cousins, and I made my grandmother feel like this was the best day of my life. We ate good food, we played a couple of really stupid games, and then we reminisced for awhile. Each of us took turns telling random little stories that happened in our youth and usually involved my grandmother. Everybody was pretty psyched to see my dad because this was his first time at a family function in just under 20 years (because he’s a heartless prick!). I didn’t want to rain on anybody’s parade, so I kept my fake smile screwed on for the whole time, and whenever things got really bad I just squeezed Bradley’s hand really tight until the moment passed.

This morning I was feeling antsy as fuck! I woke Bradley up at 5 and told him we needed to go surfing NOW! We kissed my grandmother goodbye, and did all the necessary pleasantries and then we were off. Neither of us brought our surfboards or wetsuits, so we made a b-line for the Tylers’ beach house (its 20 minutes from my grandmother’s house) to grab a couple of boards. I knew for a fact we weren’t going to find a wetsuit in Bradley’s size so I decided to rough it too!

It was cold, the waves sucked, and Bradley’s surfboard was missing a fin (totally didn’t notice it when I grabbed it). But with a lot of imagination and some elbow grease, I was able to have myself a semi-decent morning session. After a couple of extremely unsuccessful rides, Bradley gave up and grabbed my camera and decided to take some pics. Had he decided to take this pic one second earlier it would have captured me busting fins off the top, and it would have been GOLDEN! Unfortunately Bradley doesn’t know how to use my camera, so I ended up with this. But it’s okay. When they are as pretty as he is, you let the little things slide…

Saturday, May 24, 2008

Weeze



The first time I heard this song, I was automatically hooked! I just loved the message and I thought it was amazing and there was no way to improve it. But then I saw the music video! Pork and Beans rocks my socks!

Friday, May 23, 2008

Fun with Grandma!


Bradley and I decided to head up north to spend the weekend with my grandmother. I hate to brag, but I am her favorite out of all her grandkids, and she has no qualms about telling anybody who asks exactly that. She met Bradley a few days before Thanksgiving last year and really liked him, and she asked us to spend the weekend with her for her birthday.

My Grandmother’s actual birthday party is on Sunday, so this is going to be a weekend of grandma cooking the most DELICIOUS meals EVER! This isn’t just my personal opinion; as I have mentioned before, she has an extremely successful restaurant of 30 years that people travel very far to eat at. She didn’t disappoint me at all! She was waiting for Bradley and me with a meal ready for us to eat right when we walked in. I know I have said this a million times, but it’s so integral to who I am so it’s worth repeating… EATING MAKES SOOO ME HAPPY!! I honestly don’t understand how I am not 400lbs.

After dinner granny asked us to hit the grocery store for some food she would need to cook breakfast tomorrow. Bradley and I gladly obliged and went on a mission to our local Trader Joe’s! Unfortunately we got there after it closed, but there was a shopping cart in the parking lot! So the trip wasn’t a complete waste of time... We settled on a big chain grocery store and grabbed everything we needed and headed home just as the rain got started.

I am looking forward to curling up with my boyfriend in the den as my Grandmother brings us massive amounts of food while we are watching TV! I know it’s her birthday weekend and some people think that I should be doing things for her, but it makes her happy to feed me and it makes me happy to let her. So basically me letting her take care of me is how I can help her the most. SERIOUSLY! You have to believe me. This one time I only ate one serving and she almost started crying! The woman loves to watch me eat!

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Some Reflection...


Bradley took his last final and is now a free man until Fall of 2008. It’s both comforting and a little scary knowing that over the next 3 months we are going to be spending every moment together. We love spending time with each other, but between me and all my trips and Bradley and all his away games, we have spent a lot of time apart this year. He and I are going to Tyler’s place in Maui for a couple weeks, just the two of us. Then once we get back we have to get recertified for lifegaurding, and then it’s off on our surf camp excursions until August.

This year hasn’t been all sunshine and rainbows; it’s been crazy for both of us. There were situations this year where if we didn’t have each other to rely on, our lives would have turned out very differently. As stoic as I am, there were moments where I needed him to hold me and tell me that everything was going to be okay. And as strong as he is, there were still times I had to pick him up and remind him that no matter what happened I was going to be right there supporting him in everyway I could. We have had to deal with a lot of things that life threw at us, but we made it through all the drama together and that made us stronger.

I sometimes wonder how such an amazing man could ever love a guy like me. I feel like everyday I learn something new about Bradley that makes him even more special than before. There is so much dignity and strength in how he presents himself as both an athlete and a gay man that I have so much respect for, but more than that he is just such an amazing human being and I feel like I am better having known him.

On a completely separate topic I am extremely satisfied with how well I have been able to take care of all the logistics in my life even though I have been traveling all over the fuck! No late bills, no cash shortages and no home emergencies that require new appliances or expensive home repair services! My finances are AMAZING after just getting paid for both Coachella and Tyler’s firm. I did my best to give Tyler money for the plane tickets and all those stupid suits that he bought for me, but the pig headed prick refused to take my money. I figure it’s easier to just let it go and then when he least suspects it I can buy a bunch of shit for him and then REFUSE to take his money! And FINALLY I will have my revenge! MUHAHAHA (that’s evil laughter just in case you couldn’t tell)!!!

Monday, May 19, 2008

I went to Germany


I had an AMAZING vacation! It was so chill and everybody was extremely positive the whole time that I probably had one of the most perfect vacations of my life. The best part was all the food! When we weren’t sampling the top cuisine France had to offer, Mrs. Tyler was cooking the most delicious food anybody has ever eaten. Nothing makes me happier than a full stomach, so I can say without a doubt that I spent my vacation EXTREMELY happy!

On my third day in France I got an email from a friend in Berlin. Back in 04 I spent a year at university studying art and I made a lot of very awesome friends I haven’t seen in a very long time. This friend of mine was showing at a gallery and wanted me to stop by to check out his stuff. I immediately made plans to end my trip in Berlin and fly home from there.

It was very surreal seeing my friends again after sooo long. Everybody seemed so adult this time around with their wives and kids and beards and fancy clothes. Lucky for me the guy whose art show we were all here to see was still single, beardless, childless, and seriously lacking in the fancy clothes department. So I wasn’t alone feeling a little out of place.

Catching up with my German homies was awesome! We went to this cool hipster restaurant in the art district and drank beers and reminisced. At first I was having trouble keeping up with the conversation because years of marijuana have made my internal Spanish to English to German translator a little slow (German is actually my 4th language, so when I get flustered I totally forget that I even know the language at all!). But after a few hours you couldn’t shut me up to save my life. At some point during dinner, one of the wives wanted to know how an American came to join this group of Germans that have been friends since before college. And so began the millionth retelling of one of the most frustrating and uncomfortable moments of my life…

We were all in the same art class taking a photorealism class and it was my second week of class. I don’t exactly remember what the professor was saying, but I brought up, The Wizard of Oz, and NOBODY knew what I was talking about! The whole class looked at me very quizzically, and for the next 10 minutes I stumbled my way through the most convoluted interpretation of, The Wizard of Oz, EVER. Using my high school German that was extremely fuzzy after 3 years of sex drugs and rock & roll, I told a story of a man missing his head (I didn’t know what the word for brain was) and a man that didn’t have a heart going on a mission with a girl who dropped a house on a “bad lady”. I am sure it goes without saying that NOBODY had any idea what I was talking about!

I was getting extremely flustered, and I realized there wasn’t even the smallest possibility I was going to be able to find the words to describe flying monkeys, a melting witch, and a woman who floats around in a pink bubble! I wanted to let it go, but they wouldn’t let me! So I told them to give me the rest of the class to draw a few of the main characters and see if we could figure it out that way. I drew the wicked witch on her broom, the scarecrow and the tin man together, then I drew Dorothy and as an afterthought I added her little dog next to her. As I was going through naming all the characters one of my now friends stopped me and asked about the dog, because I hadn’t given the dog a name. So I told him that the dog was Toto. It all happened at the exact same moment! EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM knew the fucking dog Toto! I was so happy that they finally got what I was talking about but at the same time completely pissed off that after all the drama all I had to do was mention the goddamn dog! Thinking about it now still causes me anxiety, but it’s kind of funny, and if it had happened to somebody else I would totally be laughing about it!

After everybody was done having a good laugh remembering my inability to articulate my thoughts, we went to the show. The pieces were truly amazing and made me seriously remember what it was like to be around REAL artists. Afterwards we left the ladies and we all went out for some beers. Just in case you guys didn’t know, drinking beer with Germans and trying to keep pace with them is NEVER a good idea; especially if you are a 130lb Asian man. This happened 4 days ago and I am still feeling it!

I have been home for a few days now and I am loving it. As much fun as I had seeing old friend, nothing beats coming home to Bradley. I hate to sound all cheesey and gay, but being around him makes me feel so happy that even thinking about him right now has me smiling from ear to ear. We have spent almost every moment together since he picked me up from the airport, and I am really enjoying all this extra attention! ANYWAY! I am going to go watch me some sports and drink some beers and do other manly things.

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Just Chillin


I don't really have much to say... I have been spending my days wandering the streets with the Tylers stopping to purchase random knick-knacks or eat until we could barely breath. Tyler and I have been doing a lot of surfing also. It's great to get back on a board after not being able to surf for almost an entire month! And it's also awesome to finally see Tyler relax a little after being such a tight ass for all that time.

It's early in the AM at the moment and the house is quiet. I love the fact that I have absolutely no plans and there's a huge chance I may not do a damn thing all day long! I wish I were a millionaire because I could totally live like this for the rest of my life and never get bored. Just me, my surfboard, a few good books, and my guitar. And of course my boyfriend! But I thought that was a give and went without saying.

Thursday, May 08, 2008

Mother's Day Trip



It’s all over! And not a second too soon because I was just about to stab myself in an eye with a dull pencil just to break up the monotony of my day. Tyler and I were able to finish up with all of his clients, and with my help I was able to put him so far ahead of schedule we are actually going to be staying here in France for 9 days. I KNOW I was literally here less than 5 months ago, but that was business and this is pleasure! I am looking forward to finally being able to take in everything and not have to worry about having to be somewhere.

My glimpse into life as a grownup was extremely sobering and not something that I will do again for quite awhile! That shit sucked, even with Tyler protecting me and holding my hand every step of the way. I need to hurry up and make my first million selling mass produced key-chains and coffee mugs with my likeness on them, because I am not ready for corporate America!

On a completely separate topic, I really really miss my boyfriend. We have spent every night on the phone talking with each other since I have been gone. There has been so much going on with him, and I haven’t been around to help him through all the bullshit. I drove down to San Diego the day before we left so I could be with my boyfriend before I headed off on yet another trip. We spent the entire night talking and spooning, much longer than my standard 5 minutes.

When it was all said and done, and Tyler picked me up to take us to the airport, I was reaffirmed than ever that Bradley is the man of my dreams. I can’t stop thinking about him, his body, his hands, and his smile. Which are all pretty amazing, but nothing compared to who he is as a man, which also perfectly compliments his amazing personality. For all of his faults (which are few) I can’t help but love him even more. I am so head over heels for Bradley it’s actually kind of gross. I am going to do my best to have fun this week and a half, but I am having some issues getting my dude out of my head! He probably fucking cast a spell on me, that BASTARD!

Right when we got here Mrs. Tyler wanted to go on a daytrip to a DIFFERENT country. Tyler and I were so tired we spent the entire train ride passed out and were very poor company. But we woke up energized and had an awesome time hanging out in this really small town eating good food and browsing the shops for something fun to take home. The weather is a lot warmer than I was expecting, and I am looking forward to a nice relaxing week of hanging out and having fun.

Monday, May 05, 2008

Working...




My weekend has been extremely uneventful because of Tyler’s disgusting urge to do his best at work! I guess nobody told him that half-assing your way through the day until it’s time to go home was the American way. He has been a fucking slave driver all week long! I basically work as the liaison between his department and the programmers who are designing new software for different clients. I seem to have been uniquely educated in a way that makes me fluent in both geek and dumb ass. So I can switch from talking with a CS engineer to an MBA douche bag in less than 1.2 seconds!

Since I have gotten here I haven’t been able to go surfing once. The only fun I was allowed to have this entire week was on Saturday when I threatened to beat the shit out of Tyler if we didn’t go to the Jake Shimabukuro concert. Jake put on an amazing performance, as always. The dude plays the ukulele like a fucking mad man! He does things that make sounds come out of that instrument that I never knew were possible! I know he’s this super talented musician and that should be enough, but he’s also really hot, so it’s just that much better!

Sunday Tyler totally cracked the whip again and I spent the ENTIRE day writing up detailed summaries in, “retard”, on what and how the engineers were doing. It was all extremely boring and by the end of they day I was seriously contemplating suicide. If this is what I have to look forward to once I finally decide to grow up and take a real job, I would rather just take a bullet in the head and just end the misery now! I can’t think of anything that could be more painful than writing my own mini-versions of CS for Dummies, including but not limited to sticking my dick in an electrical socket!

Today is shaping up to be a lot like yesterday and all the days before that in the sense that I am doing a lot of fucking work! This morning I stood in front of the mirror for almost 10 minutes because I forgot how to tie my tie. So I just said, “fuck it!” and threw it on the floor, but then Tyler came in and picked up the tie and tied it for me, that fucking prick bastard! He thinks that he’s all big and bad and totally in charge, but I am definitely putting my foot down once again for tonight’s drunken festivities. It is Cinco de Mayo after all. And there’s no better reason to drink than to celebrate a fake Mexican holiday that no actual Mexican would be caught dead celebrating!

I can't wait until all this bullshit is finally over. I wasn't meant to have a 9 to 5, which is kind of unsettling because I did give up my other career options which would have NEVER required me to work such ungodly hours on a regular basis! I really do just need to win the lottery already! Now if only I could remember to buy one of those stupid lottery tickets... Oh well, it's probably a huge scam anyway.

Thursday, May 01, 2008

RGB goes corporate

Tyler and I are trying to figure out if we can clear off our schedules so we can fly to Mrs. Tyler for Mother's Day. The only problem is she's really far away and if we go we want to at least stay a week because the fucking flights are going to be around 17 hours each way! I don't actually have a job at the moment, so clearing off my schedule isn't exactly a problem, but Tyler is a completely different story. In order to make the time to take a week off he has all this stuff he has to finish before he goes. So I have decided to come up to Los Angeles AGAIN! So I can help him get all this extra work done before the 7th so we can enjoy some down time in super cold weather.

I know that I have a degree in engineering, but I really fucking hate Tyler for actually making me use it! Yesterday I had to go into the office with him and he made me wear a fucking suit! ME in a SUIT! I was sooo uncomfortable and I spent the entire day sulking because I was in such a bad mood over what I was wearing. EVERYBODY knows that engineers don't have to wear suits to work, unless they are on the east coast! Here on the west coast we do things a little more casual than our left coast counterparts, but apparently Tyler's firm didn't get that memo.

I feel really bad for all the tailors that have had to put up with my shit this week. I only have one suit and Tyler thought it would be embarassing for me if I wore the same one everyday. Even though I insisted that I didn't care if I wore that nasty thing more than once and people noticed, he wasn't having it and he dragged me all over LA until I had 6 suits to wear. I can't even stand going into a store to buy a t-shirt a pack of underwear, do you guys have any idea how hard it was for me to stand there as a man with a tape measure grazed my nuts as he took my measurements!? OMFG suits are so god damned expensive that for every suit I acquired I was thinking to myself, "I could have gotten myself a new surfboard, a new wetsuit, and a blowjob in WeHo and still had a couple hundred to spare!"

After shopping for a few hours I started to feel pretty ridiculous standing there and complaining about a shirt itching, or the collar being too stiff, or the sleeves being too tight. I felt like a 6 year old throwing mini-tantrums all over, but for some reason I just couldn't stop complaining! I guess that the end result looks alright... I mean looking in the mirror, I don't even recognize myself with my hair all styled with product and my fancy leather shoes all new and clean looking. I guess that I do look good, but still after this week and a half are over I wouldn't mind if there was a freak lightning storm that struck my closet and set all these suits on FIRE!

I just had this funny thought in my head that totally describes my last few days perfectly! There's this show on MTV called, MADE. They take all these kids that are weird little outcasts and transform them into something that is completely outside their comfort area. Every once in awhile they take a girl and they transform her from a tomboy into a proper lady. They make her wear heels and makeup and skirts and halfway through the episode the girl always breaks down into tears and has this HUGE freakout because she can't stand what they are doing to her. I feel like those girls on that show right now!