Thursday, May 25, 2006

I'm alright.


A lot has happened since my Monday night freak out. Most of it has been very positive, but I think that I could have lived without the last two days actually happening. After I finished typing my last post, I called my friend Tyler and he came over pretty fast, because he only lives 4 houses away. I told him that I just really needed to get out of the house, so I grabbed my pain killers, my surfboard and a bottle of Patron then we took off. The 5 minute drive felt like an hour because we were completely silent the whole way. He knew that there was something wrong, but he knows me well enough to let me figure out how I want to say whatever is on my mind, instead of pressing the issue. Finally after we pulled up and were getting out of the car I worked up enough courage to begin to tell him what was wrong with me. But words were not on my side. So I turned on his laptop and logged onto my blog and told him to start at the beginning.

After that I took double the prescribed amount of pain killers, and then I downed like 1/3 of the bottle of Patron, I jumped into my wetsuit and took off towards the water. I could not be around him as he read it. I caught my first wave, but when I tried to pop up, my leg could not hold my weight and I fell. So I tried again, but this time I rode goofy, but it didn't matter and I fell again. I got the hint, my leg wasn't about to let me do this even though I couldn't feel the pain, my leg still knew it was there.

I got out of the water and passed out on the beach, because that mix of alcohol and pain killers really kicked my ass! I don't know how long I was out, but the next thing that I remember Tyler was waking me up. We decided on Norms for a 2 am snack, and basically drove there in silence yet again. I was extremely worried that he was about to tell me that he was sorry that I was having a hard time, but we couldn't be friends anymore. Or even worse then that, he would tell me that he hated me more than life itself because I am such a liar. We got a booth and ordered a couple of oreo cookie shakes. Then when the waitress walked away he finally spoke! He told me that he was disappointed in himself for being such a bad friend. I didn't quite understand what he meant by that, then he continued. I don't really want to get into too much detail, but there were tears, and by the time we finished our shakes, I realized that I was crazy for ever thinking that I couldn't trust him. My best friend is WAY cooler than yours!




Oh yeah! One more thing! This is a Banksy. It is one of my favorite things that he has done. It deffinitely puts a smile on my face, but there are many different things that he is trying to say with this. And I am not sure if all of them are positive... But I still like it.

10 comments:

Robin Design Group said...

Man, are you a Pain Magnet or WHAT?! Hope you're feeling better now!

Josh said...

Wow dude it sounds like you have a pretty full life! I would hate to have your schedule! It must suck being injured and still have all those things to do! I am sooo tired by just reading about your life! I think that I am going to go and take a nap now! later gator.

asher said...

I can totally relate to your plight! This one time when I had to wake up for this 7am class 3 times a week it sucked! I felt like I was always going to class it toally sucked in a HUGE way! I am sorry that your life is sooo busy.

Riley said...

hahaha there are british cops making out on the wall! that is an awesome picture! I love that! Well just to switch gears, you have a lot going on dude! I think taht you should invest in some lazy time where you do absolutely nothing! Work it out man!

Bryant said...

I am happy to hear that you are having a better time coping with your issues than you were before. I love how things worked out for you. It is awesome that your friend was so encouraging and understanding. I hope that thisencourages you to continue the path to freedom! You are an awesome person and a great personality! I would just ease up on the booze and the liquot! That is an awful combo! It really messes with your head, especially when you throw an ocean in the mix! stay safe eric!

Marc said...

Well that is quite an accomplishment to go 7 years and never get a B! Somebody sounds like an overachiever! I think that you are a lot more asian than you give yourself credit for! hahaha! If I were you I would let my sponsors drop me! I mean it doesn't really seem like you love competing half as much as you love actually surfing! Competitions aren't for everybody, and just beause you don't compete doesn't mean that youa ren't good enoguh to do so. It just means that you have a different set of priorities! I think that if surfing is strssing you out this muh it might not be the stress reliever taht you think it is for you. Also I think that the fact that writing this blog is making you want to come out faster makes a lot of sense. Its that old saying, "when you give a mouse a cookie, he'll ask for a glass of milk!" You let your inner gay boy out to play, and now he doesn't want to go back in, beause he has had a taste of freedom! I completely understand that you are not ready to come out, I am just saying that its not going to get any easier, because you already know waht you want!

Brandon said...

I think that you have a good idea of what you have going in your life, and that's an important thing!! There are a lot of people that haven't even stopped to take stock of everything that is going on in their life and how it is affecting them emotionally. That is the sign of a very mature person, being able to figure out where your emotions come from and what not. You have a lot going on and you have a lot to deal with, but I wouldn't worry about you because it really does seem like you have everyting under control.BTW The kissing cops rock!

Reggie said...

Ooo Kissing cops! Sexy! This Banksy guy has some talent. I was wondering about your surfing career... Do you actually make any money off of it? Because if you do, I think that surfing for a living would be a lot more fun than any 9 to 5 that you will ever have! You should seriously think about working a little bit harder, and becoming an awesome pro surfer! Then one day you can call a press conference and shock the world with your orientation! Hahaha Kidding, but SERIOUSLY think about how much more layed back life would be if you decided to surf for a living instead of working a real job, or even going to college! If you have enough talen, you should atleast try and make a go at it while you are still young.

Terry said...

Eric, first and foremost: Tyler sounds like the absolute *best* kind of friend!! I'm happy for the both of you!

Second, I'm glad I could give you a little insight. The Bible is a mystery to most people and the worst thing about it is the vast majority of people are "one verse Charlies" - they take one verse out of context without reading before or after that one verse (let alone other parts of the Bible that deal with the same subject).

Oh. BTW, I'm not a "Bible pounder" or super-religious. I'm a gay guy who hates it when people say one thing (as if it were fact) when they have nothing to back it up. Most of it is still a mystery to me also; but, I'll continue to occasionally read and study it. Who said gays and God don't mix? :)

Love your blog and, please, go easy on the mixture of pain killers and alcohol!!

Anonymous said...

Hey - I've been skipping around your blog, sampling posts. I ruptured a few discs in my lower back and damaged nerves as well - it's been years now, but so much of what you were waing really made sense to me... that particular injury changed my whole life. At the time it felt like my world ended (I made my living with my body - no.. not that... I was a dancer), but it didn't and I have to say I like where I am now... never thought I'd be where I am doing what I'm doing...

good luck

-spt