Sunday, August 30, 2009

a little rambling

So much has happened these last couple months that I don't even know where to begin! Despite the fact that it all started off kinds of awful, I really did have an exceptional summer. Splitting my time between two very different camps really gave me the opportunity to challenge myself both physically and creatively in a way that I really haven’t ever done before. The people I worked with were amazing and the kids at the camps were exceptional. It felt like everything was planned out ahead of time to assure I was able to enjoy myself as much as possible with as little stress as possible. Everything just flowed so perfectly into everything else that I never really felt like I was working.

This isn’t to say that my summer went off without any glitches or hiccups, FAR FROM IT! I had my fill of faulty equipment and camp shenanigans gone wrong, but overall I wouldn’t change a thing. Well maybe I would change that awful feeling in the pit of my stomach when I noticed that even the kids that went to the colleges I was staying at seemed to look like babies to me and it was because I was getting older and not that they were getting younger. ARGH! There’s still just WAY too much to say and I am having a hard time figuring out what to write because of it, so I am just going to list some favorites.

My favorite moment at camp was during the last week of camp. I usually get really hungry around midnight and NEED to eat a cheeseburger before I fall into a coma from starvation! So midnight In&Out runs weren’t uncommon for me and the select few campers that were wise enough to stay awake after lights out. One night at In&Out my campers and I were enjoying a delicious round of cheeseburgers and shakes when I accidentally drop my shake on the table. When anybody else on the planet, but myself, drops a milkshake it tips over and spills all over the table. Unfortunately I just don’t have that kind of luck! So when my milkshake it the table it landed perfectly flat, then the top shot up into the air as the contents of my shake flew through the air, between the heads of my campers sitting opposite me, and landed on this big fat ANGRY gangster black man sitting behind us. This dude was everything a stereotypical black man could be, complete with a basketball jersey, shaved head, 3 HUGE chain necklaces, and a Bluetooth in his ear. The sight of him with my dripping milkshake seeping down his face onto his jersey, Bluetooth, etc. was quite possibly the funniest thing I had ever seen, so I do what I do best and started LAUGHING! I was laughing hysterically and couldn’t stop even though my brain was screaming that if I didn’t there was a chance I was about to get my butt kicked. In between fits of laughter I did my best to choke out an apology, but somehow my laughter made it seem somewhat insincere. Long story short, the guy slapped my hand away as I tried to hand him some napkins and then had a few choice expletives for me before storming out of the restaurant as I was still laughing.

My favorite camper was a camper from the action sports film camp, Kelly. He was seriously one of the best skateboarders I have ever met and also an extremely talented boy ballerina (ballerino??). Not only did he have a great eye for setting up some awesome shots, but he was funny and smart and we spent a lot of time joking around and having fun. Kelly was there for my first 2 weeks back to camp after my incident and he never knew it, but just by being himself he really made my days sooo much better. This dude is going to make an awesome grownup.

My favorite song of the summer is GRUDGINGLY Slightly Stoopid’s 2am. After our midnight cheeseburger runs, and before we all went to bed, we would stay up playing Texas Hold’em and listening to music on my ipod. I let the kids pick the music just as long as the music came from my ipod and EVERY NIGHT at either camp, the number one song was ALWAYS 2am. It was oddly suited for our nightly rituals but at the same time it got old fast! However even though I am sick of hearing this song, I can’t help but smile from all the good memories I have while listening to it.

My favorite person of the summer was definitely Bradley. He was there holding my hand through all the hard parts. He’s the most caring and unselfish guy I have ever known and as much as it’s annoying being around a person like him, I can’t help but love him anyway.

I am leaving on a jet plane in a couple hours for a much needed vacation across the pond. I have a lot to figure out when I get back from my trip and I kind of want to do my best to put it off as long as possible. I guess that all I want to say right now, even though there’s still a lot more I want to get off my chest. These next few weeks will definitely give me plenty of time to get it all out, so let’s see how I decide to use it…

Thursday, August 20, 2009

One more week!

It’s no secret this summer kicked off with all kinds of personal drama for me. This summer was supposed to be all about me escaping all my problems and existing in this tiny microcosm where things like failed relationships and shitty parents aren’t included in my life story. Then this kid gets shot right before my eyes and all of a sudden I find myself unable to compartmentalize my drama like I normally do. The first week after it happened I slept a grand total of 9 hours. The following week I was in this crazy manic state where I just worked myself into the ground. The third week I drank a whole lot of alcohol and made ridiculously inappropriate jokes about the shooting to try and cover up the fact that I was still freaking out about it. By the fourth week I was finding any excuse I could to be alone where I spent WAY too much time crying uncontrollably where nobody could see or hear me. After that I finally started to deal and things actually got better for me.

Last week was my last week with both of the camps I work for. I was planning on taking these last few weeks of August and sleeping. I am crazy exhausted from all the work I have been doing and traveling that was a part of my job. Unfortunately I don’t know how to say no to people and an old friend called me up to BEG that I come work for his camp for the last two weeks of summer. This is a special session here at camp for children that are struggling with health issues. The kids are awesome and being here and knowing how much I have to contribute makes me feel really good about myself and extremely happy for these kids and the experience they are getting.

At the beginning of June I had no idea my summer was going to be so crazy and take so much out of me. I haven’t really had time to reflect on everything that has happened to me or how I feel about all of it, but I think things have turned out as well as they possibly could all things considered. At least the nightmares are gone and I don’t wake up in a cold sweat crying hysterically anymore, cuz that really sucked! I have another week here at this camp, then I come home for a week. This is going to give me just enough time to do my laundry and pack for my big relaxing get away trip! I will be gone for a few weeks and I am planning on staying away from all the evils of man i.e. cell phones, computers, guys, and your mom. I’ll try to get in a few posts before I leave.