Back in December I decided that I really needed to go somewhere far and do something crazy because I had a shitty 2020 that ended in lawsuits, a funeral, and a couple of death threats from some family members. A friend of mine, Minho from South Korea that I met back in my pro athlete days, casually mentioned he and a group of friends would be hiking Mt Kilimanjaro. Then they'd be spending 3 weeks caravanning through Africa to check out the wildlife. So I did what any guy desperate for an escape would do and I invited myself on the adventure.
First and foremost I need to say beyond vaccinations I did zero research on what this trip would entail. Minho told me that it was supposed to be extremely cold, so I at least packed my winter hiking gear. BUT NOBODY FUCKING TOLD ME THAT IT SNOWS IN AFRICA! LIKE A LOT! Our entire hike to the top of the mountain was in snow up to our knees AND I WAS FUCKING FREEZING! Also I've done Everest basecamp, Machu Pichu, Whitney, and Fujiyama; these were all pleasant strolls compared to how painfully difficult this hike was.
Minho and his buddies all work in the entertainment industry so they are all tall fit model/actors and basically floated to the top of the mountain. I feel like I was the fat short old man slowing down the entire party. But they were all good sports about it especially because I was the only one in the group that speaks fluent english to interact with our guides. They hired guides that were supposed to be fluent in French, but the guide's French was as broken and incomprehensible as everyone else's broken english.
There's this feeling I get when I reach the top of a mountain. I am not entirely sure if I can describe it. I am exhilarated, happy, exhausted and feel completely content all at once. We hiked all night so we could make it to the top for sunrise. All the tripping, and sleep deprivation were completely worth it. We saw the sunrise and the moonset and had a 360 degree view of Tanzania. This was the moment I was waiting for to finally exhale and unload all the bullshit that had been weighing me down for the last few months. I shed a couple tears, then pulled my flask out and took a couple of long drinks of whiskey. Then I spent the next 6 hours regretting all my life choices that put me on that mountain navigating my way down. My knees hurt, my back hurt, my head hurt, I was tired, and I slipped and fell so many times that the last half dozen times I contemplated not ever getting up again.
The next three weeks were wild. I think we were hostages (had a spirited debate with the guys over what constitutes a hostage situation. Honestly I have no idea what the correct terminology is) for an afternoon until I gave these teenagers with semi-automatic weapons $1000. A cheetah jumped onto the hood of our open roof vehicle and just stared at us for a couple minutes. And we snuck out of a village in the middle of the night after a bunch of people with torches started gathering and shouting about the "China Virus" while talking about us.
Other than that the trip was fun. I got so close to a Cheetah I could actually smell it! I got to work on my Korean and got to the point where I was making dirty jokes and the guys could even understand me DRUNK! We saw lions and zebras and walked through villages where they were making shea butter and weaving baskets. And everywhere we went people wanted to take pictures with us because it was their first time ever seeing Asian people.
The best part of the whole trip was making new friends. I was invited to Jeju Island in June for a more relaxed guys trip with some light camping and hiking. It's been so long since I was able to be social with more than a couple of people or explore new places that I have never been. I had no idea how much I really needed this experience. Arriving home I was both exhausted and completely rejuvenated. I've been home almost 2 weeks and I'm still in an amazing mood. But also my first trip to the African wilds will most definitely be my last because it was super scary and I'm way too old to be fearing for my life on vacation.
2 comments:
If you have to pay money to leave a situation you are being held hostage.
yas. africa is extremely cold at night!! especially in the deserts and at altitude. part of the euphoria on top of the mountain was mostly likely due to altitude "sickness". same thing happened to me on kili. but i didn't realize it, until i saw a guide mouth to another hiker "altitude" sickness and point at me. i wanted to run down the mountain in all the loose rock, but the guide grabbed hold of me and make me walk with him. it was a combination of euphoria and sickness. lol i'm hoping to visit Socotra at the end of April (fingers crossed). try Aconcagua next! 6900 meters. i only made it to 6600 meters
i'm surprised at the Asian comment. there are so many Chinese all over the continent, building roads, universities, stadiums in exchange for natural resources.. i'm white, but twice, in remote towns in Cameroon and Somaliland, kids called me Chinese. they equate foreigners = Chineses.
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