Saturday, November 15, 2008

Be the change!

I’ll admit it, for a second I let all this bullshit get to me. Certain responsibilities from life and this stuff from Prop 8 were weighing me down. I felt like I was on my own when mom and her spawn were tearing into me. I started to have regrets thinking I didn’t really have much time left for my dreams, or maybe I should call them my goals. Unfortunately Bradley knows better than anybody I seldom sleep anymore. Then I think about how I’ve wasted all my time with life’s daily bullshit and deep down I know this time I’m through with it. I can’t go on being angry or upset with my mom or my dad or society trying to fuck with my happiness.

Last night we drove to my hometown to stay with the Tyler’s with about 14 of our (mine and Bradley’s) favorite San Diego people. This morning a few dozen of my closest buddies from my hometown met up with us and we took a chartered bus to the rally in LA. We have made it to quite a few rallies since the 4th, but this one meant the most to me because everybody I knew made it a point to be there with me.

It was hot as balls and I had to pee from the time we arrived there at 9:45 am until we had lunch in Little Tokyo around 3:00pm. About a half hour after we arrived some crazy Christian protesters showed up with their HUGE ASS signs. Yet despite the heat, needing to pee the entire day, and the handful of bastards trying to ruin a truly magical experience, the day was perfect. I have never seen so many people gathered to support a single cause in my entire life, and being there with my friends and family to witness this was very special.

I guess it was kind of bittersweet being there at the rally today. Even though I was inspired by the sheer number of people who showed up to support the cause, knowing everyone was hear to fight for our civil rights was a little disheartening. There were a few speakers that really got to me, and a few speakers that really made me laugh, but with each person who took the stage, I could feel a shift in the crowd as people got more and more excited. It culminated with everybody chanting that we march ending the infinite number of speakers that took the stage. FYI Xena Warrior Princess was the highlight of my day and when she did her little battle cry I screamed like a bitch!

When the marching started we had soooo much fun screaming and singing etc. Mrs Tyler was there with her signs and her HUGE sun hat screaming about equal rights. She even had a button saying she supports her gay son. She made me cry 3 times today, because she made me feel so good about myself I almost felt like I wasn’t deserving of it. Tyler was there with his Heteros for Homos shirt and his arm around me and his HUGE I support my gay brother sign which also made me want to cry like a bitch. Johnny was there with a sign and a shirt, and of course so was my boyfriend. I know I keep saying it, but I am not sure I meant it until now. I really am hopeful for the future, both my future and America’s future.

There was this one awesome super awkward moment about a half hour into the march. We were walking when we passed this dude that looked entirely too familiar to me. Somehow we ended up making passive eye contact and totally do a double take because we simultaneously know how we know each other! We were both TV hosts on obscure cable networks on super testosterone driven stations that probably together get about 3 female viewers and probably as many gay viewers. The first words out of his mouth as we approached each other to shake hands were, “Hey RGB! I’m not gay!”. It was seriously hilarious the way he had this deer in the headlights look on his face. Honestly, him being gay was probably the furthest thought in my head when I saw him, but after he said that I kind of felt a little suspicious… Anyway I introduced him to Bradley, Tyler, and Johnny, and I swear he totally swooned when he shook Tyler’s hand (as all guys & girls do) but I decided to overlook that and we said our goodbyes and continued on our march.

The end result of the day is that I honestly feel like I am not as big of an outsider as I once felt. Society doesn’t hate me as much as I originally thought, and it’s okay to be happy even of things aren’t going as good as they could be. I am ready to smile.


Trevor said...

Xena was awesome, but I was all about when Tracy Turnblad squared took the stage! I mean come one! The OG and the next generation all on the same stage. You are the worst gay ever if you can't appreciate that!

Anonymous said...

You have a great outlook on things! I loved the way you recounted your day at the protests because you made it such a positive experience for you and your friends. I am curious to know what network you are on and what network the other guy is on... Is there any chance of you bringing it up?

Mike said...

I hate when you write this "I almost felt like I wasn’t deserving of it". You are deserving of ALL love. Everybody's love including your own. You're a great person. Don't let anyone ever let you believe otherwise.

Jason said...

Thanks for dragging my ass there this weekend. It was fucking awesome dude!

mikie3 said...

First I just want to say that I am addicted to your blog......anyway can you please find out where Tyler bought his "Hetero 4 Homos" t shirts? I want to get them for xmas gifts.