Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Is it getting annoying?

Chuck Klosterman in reference to the inability to be in mind-blowing, transcendent romantic relationships.

…And someone needs to take the fall for this. So instead of blaming no one (which is kind of cowardly) or blaming everyone (which is kind of meaningless), I’m going to blame John Cusack.

I keep getting asked what went wrong in my relationship that caused me to end things so abruptly. I was only partly being cryptic because I am a private person and I hate talking about things this personal. But the other part of me was just as confused and still trying to figure out what the hell was going on.
In relationships, there is usually a defining moment when your view of that person becomes irrevocably changed. Whether you like that person more, or less, is directly predicated on their behavior in that moment. It doesn’t even have to be something big; I find more often than not it’s something small, like a single sentence can change your whole view on a person. It’s usually nothing as petty as "I hate Kevin Smith movies", although seriously you might want to re-evaluate yourself as a person because Clerks was the bomb yo!
It’s more along the lines of saying what he actually said to me that changed my view of him! What he said didn’t really bother me after I took some time to absorb it. But what it did do was remind me of all my original worries and fears when I first became his boyfriend. I had fears about our maturity, our age, and our current stages in life and how none of it ever quite matched up. 

It’s been 2 years since he started college and he’s missed out on so much because of me. Stupid things like having to deal with crappy roommates, dorm food, and having sex with complete strangers and barely remembering any of it because of all the alcohol from the night before. In 2 more years he’s going to look back at his college career and I don’t want to be this huge regret he had because I robbed him of a real college experience. He has the rest of his life to play house but this is the time for him to be solo and live life selfishly. 

That time in his room was our defining moment. It changed us and after that we couldn't go back to being what we were before. 


Anonymous said...

I have never read anything by Chuck Klosterman but from the quotes of his you put on your blog I am going to.

Sarah said...

If I am understanding this correctly you broke up with your boyfriend because he needed to be a drunken mess and he wasn't? This makes no sense to me.

wordage said...

I hate Kevin Smith movies except for Clerks

Jason said...

My heart hurts. :(

letopho said...

love your style