Saturday, July 29, 2006

The Decision


Tonight is a big night for me. I am sitting down with my biggest sponsor to talk about my future in sufing. I informed them already of my hesitence to enter the sport full time, and we have basically reached that point where I need to either put up or shut up.

Honestly I haven't thought about my future in surfing at all! I have been so busy with my grandmother and work and my family that I haven't had the time to think about my future. Desparate times call for desparate measures. I called my friend T. T is a pro surfer and I have known him since I was 15 years old. He is about 31 now and he is a seasoned pro and one of my biggest mentors in this crazy sport. I asked him to meet me at the beach to catch some waves and talk. He said that he would be right down and that he had a surprise for me.

When I got to the beach I noticed that T was already out there, and he had 2 surfboards with him. As I walked towards him I noticed that he was alone, so this other surfboard must have been for me! The closer that I got, the more I realized that this wasn't just any ordinary surfboard. It was just way to shiny to be a normal surfboard, because it wasn't! He had brought me one of the new carbon fiber surfboards that I have been drooling over for an ETERNITY!!! I totally started to freak out. I told him that if this extra board wasn't mine I would be forced to run him over with my car and take it anyway. He informed me that it was indeed mine and that was all that I needed I grabbed the board and ran straight into the water!

That board rides like a fucking wet dream! It's jsut so light and you can feel how strong and durable it is at the same time. Oh man the speed and manuverability were just AMAZING! I don't know how I could have gone my whole life without one of these boards. I was having so much fun that I didn't want to leave the water, but then that old familiar burn started in my back and I knew that it was time to get out.

The paddle back to shore was very sobering, and by the time I got back to the sand I was completely terrified with what I was about to say to T. So I am sitting on the sand and T asks me how fucking amazing that session was on my new board, and I look up at him and say, "I'm gay." It was very silent for a very long time. I could tell that he was trying to figure out if he heard me right, because even though he knew that he had he just couldn't believe it. Finally he said something! He asked me if I was sure, and I told him that I was positive. Then he looked at me like he was about to say something really prolific and he said, "Did you know that Lance Bass was gay?"

I started laughing and so did he. We got around to talking about my little problem and what I want out of life. He is a great listener and he is an extremely intelligent man and I value everything that this guy says to me. He brought up a lot of issues that I hadn't even thought about, validated a lot of fears that I was having, and he also gave me comfort in telling me that I wasn't alone. No he's not gay! But he did know a couple of pros that are, and he promised me that he would arrange a little meeting. Why did I not go to this man earlier? I ask why, but I already know the answer. I wasn't ready to go to him until I actually told him.

Right now I feel like I am the gummi bears and that chick is my sponsor. I have decided exactly what I want to say to them, and I am very comfortable with my decision. But I am still dreading going to this meeting beause I hate it when I know that something is going to be written in stone like this. Well atleast for awhile. I will tell you guys how the meeting went, and what I have decided on my next post.

25 comments:

Trevor said...

You are soooo going to let me ride your new board right!? I just might have to rob you at gun point if you don't let me ride it! This could end very ugly if you are not careful! haha

Glad to hear that you aren't freakin out about this whole surfing thing! I told you that it wasn't that big of a deal!

Lance Bass is gay?

Frank said...

I don't surf and I have no idea what carbon fiber is or what regular surf boards are made of. But after your description of what it feels like to ride a carbon fiber board I feel a great sense of urgency to go out and get one right now!

And Trevor, how could you have not heard that Lance Bass is gay!? It's been on every single channel all week long. It's like all that anybody on television talks about.

I am glad that things worked out so well when you told you surfing friend about yourself. I hope that things go just as well for you at your meeting tonight.

Jason said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Josh said...

I have to see this new and improved surf board! It sounds too good to be true. I read about this board in trans surf but I didn't really think about it much, but now I have to see this with my own to eyes! Let's get together and go to newport or something!

As I type this I am getting more and more amped to ride this board. ESPECIALLY before Trevor gets to ride it! That's it! I am calling you right now!

Marc said...

I was listenning to Weezer with my sister and then Surf Wax America came on and I totally thought about you. Have you heard that song? Because if you haven't you have to get yourself on that. It's a great song.

I would have to agree with Frank, I don't surf, but after reading your little summary of this new board I feel like my life will not be complete until I buy this board and go out and actually surf. Does it matter that I am deathly scared of the ocean and that I will only go in the pool and only if I can see the bottom!?

George said...

After reading this post i would be shocked if you chose not to pusue a professional role in surfing! It is obviously in your blood to do so. I hope that you will be able to succeed here where many other gay athletes have failed. Don't be scared because you are not alone! It sucks being a gay athlete, but you have to do what you have to do, and you have to surf!

Asher said...

I am not really understanding what is going on with this picture and how it relates to you and your sponsors... Are you afraid that your sponsors are going to eat you? Because if this is your fear you should just inform them that while eating Chinese always sounds like a good idea at the moment. You will always just be hungry 10 minutes later! hahaha Kidding!

Good luck with whatever it is that you are about to tell you sponsor. I am sure that whatever it is that you have chosen to do will be the right decision.

Craig said...

Wow man you really need to think about going into advertising! After I read you post all that I could think about was getting a new carbon fiber surfboard! I haven't actually surfed in over 5 years, but I feel like I will be dead inside until I take this new board out for a ride!

Good luck with your meeting tonight!

Shaun said...

I have been reading your blog for awhile now, and I have never commented. I am not gay, but I am a surfer, and I think that you live a really interesting and complicated life. I just wanted you to know that there are surfers out there who wouldn't think that it would be a big deal if there were gay surfers. I can see how some guys might not agree with that, but I honestly feel that the heart of surfing is a lot less about testosterone and mochismo and a lot more about innovation and relaxation!

On a completely different topic, I love it when somthing revolutionary comes along and changes something so drastically when nobody thought that it could ever change! I love the new carbon fiber boards. I have been riding mine for a few weeks now and I am totally impressed. I love the way that you describe it, I couldn't agree more!

Anthony said...

I love that little comic strip thing! It's hilarious. Good luck with tonight.

Shane said...

A free carbon fiber surf board!? I know that I don't actually know you, but because of this, I think that I kind of have to hate you! I am working a very awful and boring summer job so I can get one at the end of this crappy summer! I just thought that you should know that you have completely crushed my spirit and I am not a broken man.

Rodney said...

Call me old fashioned, but I just didn't like the new carbon fiber boards at all. I think that they are way to light and I just don't feel like they can give me the same ride that I have grown to love after a few decades of fiber glass boards! Nothing beats a classic and I am just not ready to give up my fiber glass.

I do have to admit that your little discription of your ride on the board really got me thinking, but Like I said, I am all about the classics. Call me an old stubborn fool, but I am never changing!

Jason said...

I just bought a very nice brand new Fiber Glass board! I am so upset about this new technology that I didn't know about. I am looking at my board right now and it just seems useless compared to what you have!

I feel like I stepped into a timewarp and then came out and everybody was using those new razor phones, but I was still using my startac! Wanna trade??

John said...

I love how much you seem to love the ocean! That's so great. I want to find something that I feel equally as passionate for.

Good luck with tonight!

Ben said...

I am never going to look at gummi bears the same way ever again! I felt so bad for them as the lady reached down and was tossing them into her mouth. They are the cutest little things ever and that was funny as hell!

Well I gather from that comic that you are probably nervous. I am pretty sure that you aren't actually scared that you are going to be eaten by your sponsors! So just stick to your guns and don't let anybody think for you and I am sure that you will do just fine.

GOOD LUCK!!

Nathan said...

I am extremely curious about what you are going to tell your sponsor at your meeting tonight. I will be at the edge of my seat until your next post!

Dan said...

Congrats on coming out to ur friend like that. Pretty much everyone I've told has been like that... just blurted out.

Congrats on a great blog too!
Hope the meeting goes well!

Dan

Taylor said...

Well I am sure that you have been to your meeting by now. I hope that it went well. It's nice that you told your friend, because now you don't have to feel like the only gay eskimo anymore!

I'll be waiting to hear about what you have decided! Don't keep us waiting to long.

downunderpants said...

I saw a T-shirt the other day with a certain brand on it. Yeap thats the one! So I hope you're signing with them because I can't be arsed searching out "another" brand.

Gray said...

"T" sounds so absolutely cool! You're lucky you have such a friend like him in the surfing "world".

Good luck on your meeting. I think I know what you're going to say. I just hope they are comfortable enough with it.

On the lighter side: Gummy Bears = funny! Also, I'll have to tell one of my friends about your carbon fiber board. As an avid surfer he probably already knows about it; but, I'll be interested in his comments.

Brad said...

I gotta tell you that I am a little bit jealous of your new board. I have been drooling over those for quite awhile, and you just got one dropped on your lap when you weren't even thinking about it! That's kind of annoying, but I am sure that you appreciate how lucky you are already so I will shut up about it!

I hope that you meeting went well! I am dying to hear what you decided. Don't keep us waiting too long!

Anonymous said...

I just started reading your blog a few days ago, and I just finished going through all of your archives. I think that you are a really amazing guy. You have an awesome ability to change and adapt to the situations that you are put into with ease. I am impressed with everything that you have done and the way that you live your life. Thanks for being brave enough to share your life with all these strangers, because it means a lot to people like me.


Brady

Carter said...

You are a really brave guy for taking all these proactive steps in your life! I am so happy for you. I have never been the kind of guy to just jump into situations like you do and I think that it take a special person to do so.

I hope that everything went well for you last night and you were able to achieve what you wanted to at this meeting. I am sure that whatever you schoose there will be lost of people who will respect you for your choice.

dan said...

dude, they are not going to eat you alive! but I can see you must feel like it,good luck. I'm so happy reading this post about your talk with the bud and him getting you connected, its' what you've needed, and all the decisions on your own. man I don't know how you do it. anyway, hang in there tight, keep riding the waves this summer keeps hitting you with bud. later.

Alessandra said...

im soo excited for you! it's so exciting to watch someone fulfill their lifelong dreams! it's nice to have a mentor whom you get to see everyday. i met my inspiration online thru webdate*dot*com and eventhough we don't get to see each other everyday, i know he's always there for me.